“The Muppet Movie” quotes

“- Fozzie Bear: I'm so nervous. If I'm not funny, I won't be able to live with myself.
- Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: Then you'll have to get another apartment, won't you?”
Frank Oz - Fozzie Bear
Dave Goelz - Dr. Bunsen Honeydew

“Patriotism swells in the heart of the American bear.”

Frank Oz - Fozzie Bear

“- Kermit the Frog: Where did you learn to drive?
- Fozzie Bear: I took a correspondence course.”
Jim Henson - Kermit the Frog
Frank Oz - Fozzie Bear

“- Miss Piggy: You mad, impetuous thing, it's champagne!
- Insolent Waiter: Not exactly. Sparkling Muscatel, one of the finest wines of Idaho.”
Frank Oz - Miss Piggy
Steve Martin - Insolent Waiter

“- Doc Hopper: Listen, we're a small business but we've expanded. Expanded! Just like you frogs expand. Don't you frogs expand?
- Kermit the Frog: That's a myth.”
Charles Durning - Doc Hopper
Jim Henson - Kermit the Frog

“There's not a word yet, for old friends who've just met.”
Dave Goelz - The Great Gonzo

“- Kermit the Frog: Gee. A Studebaker. Where did you get it?
- Fozzie Bear: My uncle left it to me.
- Kermit the Frog: Is he dead?
- Fozzie Bear: No, he's hibernating.”
Jim Henson - Kermit the Frog
Frank Oz - Fozzie Bear

“- Fozzie Bear: Hello, I'd like an ice cream.
- Ice Cream Vendor: What do you want? Chocolate, vanilla, coffee, peach, fudge, rum, banana?
- Fozzie Bear: Honey.
- Ice Cream Vendor: Honey? I beg your pardon, I hardly know you.
- Fozzie Bear: Seriously, I'd like a honey ice cream cone for me, and a dragonfly ripple for my friend the frog.”
Frank Oz - Fozzie Bear
Bob Hope - Ice Cream Vendor

“- Fozzie Bear: Kermit, where are we?
- Kermit the Frog: Let's see. We're just traveling down this little black line here, and just crossed that little red line over here.
- Fozzie Bear: How about, let's take the blue line?
- Kermit the Frog: No, we can't take that, that's a river.”

Frank Oz - Fozzie Bear
Jim Henson - Kermit the Frog

“- Professor Max Krassman: It is important to remember that you have to hold on to your hat.
- Doc Hopper: What for?
- Professor Max Krassman: When a German scientist tells you to hold on to your hat, it's not casual conversation. Hold on to your hat.”
Mel Brooks - Professor Max Krassman
Charles Durning - Doc Hopper

“- Doc Hopper: What does it do?
- Professor Max Krassman: What does it do? What does it do? It turns the brains into guacamole!”

Charles Durning - Doc Hopper
Mel Brooks - Professor Max Krassman

“- Statler: I like the movie fine so far.
- Waldorf: It hasn't started yet.
- Statler: That's what I like about it.”
Richard Hunt - Statler
Jim Henson - Waldorf

“- Fozzie Bear: There was this sailor who was so fat!
- Sailor: How fat was he?
- Fozzie Bear: He was so fat that everybody liked him and there was nothing funny about him at all.”
Frank Oz - Fozzie Bear
Lawrence Gabriel Jr. - Sailor

“- Statler: How do you like the film?
- Waldorf: I've seen detergents leave a better film than this.”
Richard Hunt - Statler
Jim Henson - Waldorf

“- Kermit the Frog: It's too bad the dancing girls are on vacation; this crowd's getting ugly.
- Fozzie Bear: If you think this crowd's ugly, you should see the dancing girls.”
Jim Henson - Kermit the Frog
Frank Oz - Fozzie Bear

“- The Great Gonzo: All right, Camilla, I'll get you a balloon, but you have to pick the color: red or green?
- Balloon Vendor: Can I give you a word of advice?
- The Great Gonzo: What?
- Balloon Vendor: Why not take both?”
Dave Goelz - The Great Gonzo
Richard Pryor - Balloon Vendor

“I have a dream too, but it's about singing and dancing and making people happy. It's the kind of dream that gets better the more people you share it with. And I found a whole group of friends who have the same dream, and that makes us sort of like a family.”
Jim Henson - Kermit the Frog

“- Doc Hopper: Isn't that splendid? Just splendid! Just take a look at it.
- Kermit the Frog: All I can see are millions of frogs with tiny crutches.”

Charles Durning - Doc Hopper
Jim Henson - Kermit the Frog

“Life's like a movie, write your own ending...”
Jim Henson - Kermit the Frog

“A bear in his natural habitat. A Studebaker!”

Frank Oz - Fozzie Bear

“That's pretty dangerous building a road in the middle of the street. I mean, if frogs couldn't hop, I'd be gone with the Schwinn.”
Jim Henson - Kermit the Frog

“- Kermit the Frog: Boy, it feels like we've been driving for days.
- Fozzie Bear: Funny, yet I'm still wide awake!
- Kermit the Frog: Yup. Me, too.”

Jim Henson - Kermit the Frog
Frank Oz - Fozzie Bear

“Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection. The lovers, the dreamers, and me.”
Jim Henson - Kermit the Frog

“- Fozzie Bear: Why don't you join us?
- The Great Gonzo: Where are you going?
- Fozzie Bear: We're following our dream!
- The Great Gonzo: Really? I have a dream, too!”
Frank Oz - Fozzie Bear
Dave Goelz - The Great Gonzo

“- Floyd Pepper: What else do these pills make big?
- Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: They'll work on anything, but the effect is, sadly, temporary.
- Beaker: Sadly temporary.”

Jerry Nelson - Floyd Pepper
Dave Goelz - Dr. Bunsen Honeydew
Richard Hunt - Beaker