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Armageddon - 1998 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
2946 that'll put some hair on your ass! (full quote)
2946 : I understand that you are handicapped by a natural immaturity, and I forgive you. (full quote)
3820 It's all fun and games until someone gets shot in the leg. (full quote)
4049 #1 I only have five words for you. Damn glad to see you boy! #2 That's six words (full quote)
4049 1:Mommy, that salesman's on television. 2: That man isn't a salesman, that's your daddy (full quote)
4049 baby you have such sweet pillow talk (full quote)
4049 Tonight the hopes and dreams of an entire planet are focused on the 14 brave souls traveling into the heavens. (full quote)
4049 Why do I do this? Because the money's good, the scenery changes, and they let me use explosives, okay? (full quote)
4066 Maxy, are you in trouble with the please again? (full quote)
4066 I am the only certified asstrounat and I am saving your American asses! (full quote)
3923 If I wouldnt a christain Id be throwing your fat pinapple eating ass through a window> (full quote)
3923 I want to namne her Dottie after my wife shes a vicious life sucking bitch that no one can survive. (full quote)
3923 Come get poppa bear. (full quote)
3923 Harry this is illegal man. (full quote)
3923 Whoa whoa Harry this is getting real. (full quote)
3923 Weve struck oil baby. (full quote)
3923 your the man Harry. (full quote)
3923 Alright general Ill go with you on one condition I have to take my daughter with me. (full quote)
3923 Six billion people on the planet why did you guys call me? (full quote)
3923 We call him Rockhound,well because hes horny. (full quote)
3923 You got a weight limit on the shuttle. (full quote)
3923 While I dont share his enthusiasm you know me beam me up Scotty. (full quote)
3923 One more thing none of them ever want to pay taxes again ever. (full quote)
3923 One more thing none of them ever want to pay taxes again ever. (full quote)
3923 You know I think this might be the most uncomfortable room that Ive ever been in, in my life. (full quote)
3923 I suffered a major head injury while I was in high school. (full quote)
3923 Go easy on me okay its my first time. (full quote)
3923 Is it just me or is Watts really hot? (full quote)
3225 1) Captain America here landed us on a Goddamn iron plate. 2) How do you know that? 1) Because I'm a genius (full quote)
  Favorite dish is hagas.you take heart,lungs, and liver shove it all in a sheeps stomach and you broile it! thatll put some hair on your ass! (full quote)
  general this is one order you shouldnt follow and you fucking know it! (full quote)
  just wanted to feel the power between my legs! (full quote)
4396 general Kimsey: The fate of the planet is in the hands of a bunch of retards I wouldn't trust with a potato gun. (full quote)
4396 A.J.: Well, we all gotta die right? Looks like I'm the guy who gets to do it saving the world. (full quote)
4546 No, I said you did a piss-poor job of doin' it. (full quote)
4396 1) Right before A.J.'s dad died he told you to take care of his son. I don't think shooting him is taking care of him. 2) I'm not gonna kill him, I'm just gonna shoot him in the leg. He can still work with one leg! Remember that one guy who worked all those years with one arm? 1) Yep, but he wasn't very good. (full quote)
4396 1) Have you ever heard of Evel Knievel? 2) No, I never saw Star Wars. (full quote)
4396 1) A.J. is my choice! 2) Choice? He's the only one here in your age bracket. That's not a choice, it's a lack of option. (full quote)
4396 President: We didn't see this thing coming? Dan Truman: Well, our object collision budget allows us to track about 3% of the sky, and begging your pardon, but that's a big-ass sky. (full quote)
4396 1) How long have you worked for me, A.J.? 2) Five wonderful years. 1) And in those five years you have never apologized to me this quickly, now what going on here? (full quote)
  American components, Russian components, all made in Taiwan!!!! (full quote)
  God gave us children so there would be roses in December... Well, he gave me a whole garden full... a whole garden full Gracey, he really did. (full quote)
  Russian parts, American parts- THEY’RE ALL MADE IN TIWAN! (full quote)
  You take care of my little girl, that's your job now. (full quote)
  HARRY! DON'T DO THIS! I LOVE YOU! (full quote)
  I lied to you too... when i told you i didn't want to be like you.... cause I am like you and anything good that I have inside of me comes from you. And I love you so much daddy! (full quote)
  We win Gracie! (full quote)
  Imagine a firecracker in the palm of your hand, what happens, burn your hand. close your fist around the same firecracker.... *POOF* Wifes going to be opening ketchup bottles the rest of your life (full quote)
  56 tickets in 7 states (full quote)
  oscar choi spacey but absolute brilliant geolagist (full quote)
  what did nasa find oil on youranus (full quote)
  oscar you are about five minutes older that grace why should i listen to you (full quote)
  you make mine really tight coz i dont wanna fal out (full quote)
  Ben A. 'cause im leavin on a jet plane and i dont no when i'll be back again o baby i hate to go (full quote)
  sdal;jk (full quote)
  1. Have you seen Gracie?? 2. Yeah she's in the hanger with AJ...Oh wait did you say Gracie, I thought you said Bear. (full quote)
  HARRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!! (full quote)
  I had a great spot picked out there (full quote)
  This is how we fix problems on the Russian space station! (full quote)
  American components Russian components, all made in Taiwan (full quote)
  #1 you're tellin me you dont have a backup plan, that these 8 boy scouts here, that is the worlds hope, is that what your tellin me? #2 yeah, #1 ohhh JESUS DAMNIT! (full quote)
619 ...the clock on that 9 foot nuclear weapon is ticking. (full quote)
3443 The human thirst for excellence, knowledge; every step up the ladder of science; every adventurous reach into space; all of our combined technologies and imaginations; even the wars that we've fought have provided us the tools to wage this terrible battle. Through all of the chaos that is our history; through all of the wrong and the discord; through all of the pain and he suffering; through all of our times, there is one thing that has nourished our souls, and elevated our species above its origins, and that is our courage. (full quote)
3605 I don't want to be the materialistic weasel here, but do you think we'll get hazard pay? (full quote)
3605 Why do I do this? Three reasons: the pay is good, the scenery changes, and they let me use explosives. (full quote)
3605 I understand that you are handicapped by a natural immaturity, and I forgive you. (full quote)
3605 The fate of the planet is in the hands of a bunch of retards I wouldn't trust with a potato gun. (full quote)
3605 I'm, like, 98% excited, and maybe 2% scared. Or maybe it's backwards. Maybe I'm 98% scared, and, like, 2% excited. But that's what makes it so great---I'm so confused! (full quote)
3605 Look, we've got front row tickets to the end of the earth! (full quote)
3605 Get off... the nuclear... warhead. (full quote)
4066 Don't touch my uncle! He is the genius of my family. He use to make teh tip of the bomb. You know, that finds New York or Washington. (full quote)
4358 Off the grid? what are you, a freakin' cyborg, what does that mean? (full quote)
4396 Oscar: I'm, like, 98% excited, and maybe 2% scared. Or maybe it's backwards. Maybe I'm 98% scared, and, like, 2% excited. But that's what makes it so great---I'm so confused! (full quote)
4396 1) Come on! You're NASA for Christ's sake! You're the ones who come up with this shit! Why I bet you have a bunch of guys sitting around somewhere right now just thinking shit up, and somebody backing them up. what's your contingency plan? 2) Our contingency plan? 1) Yeah, your back up plan. You've gotta have a back up plan. 1) No, we don't have a back up plan. (full quote)
4396 1) The United states Government just asked us to save the world. Anyone wanna say no? (full quote)
4396 Hey Harry, you know we're sitting on four million pounds of fuel, one nuclear weapon and a thing that has two hundred thousand moving parts built by the lowest bidder. makes you feel good doesn't it? (full quote)
4396 President: I address you tonight not as the President of the United States, not as a leader of a country, but as a citizen of humanity. We are faced with the very gravest of challenges. The Bible calls this day 'Armageddon' - the end of all things. And yet, for the first time in the history of the planet, a species has the technology to prevent its own extinction. All of you praying with us tonight need to know that everything that can be done to prevent this disaster is being called into service. The human thirst for excellence, knowledge; every step up the ladder of science; every adventurous reach into space; all of our combined technologies and imaginations; even the wars that we've fought have provided us the tools to wage this terrible battle. Through all of the chaos that is our history; through all of the wrong and the discord; through all of the pain and he suffering; through all of our times, there is one thing that has nourished our souls, and elevated our species above its origins, and that is our courage. The dreams of an entire planet are focused tonight on those fourteen brave souls traveling into the heavens. And may we, citizens the world over, see these events through. God speed, and good luck to you. (full quote)
ProKiller It's all fun and games until someone gets shot in the leg (full quote)
5033 AJ I've got just five words for you Damn glad to see you boy! That's six words. (full quote)
5033 That's like eleven words. (full quote)
5033 It feels kinda tingly! (full quote)
5123 GET OFF THE NUCLEAR WARHEAD NO NUKES NO NUKES!!! (full quote)
5240 1. Harry, put the gun down, you're acting insane! 2. Honey, go get some clothes on and get out of the way. 1. You can't control my life! 2. Fine. CLOTHES NOW! (full quote)
5240 Wow, got a great view of the Earth from here, too bad we'll never set foot on her again. (full quote)
5240 You're gonnna remote detonate the bomb before the asteroid passes this plane zero barrier. You do that and the remaining pieces of rock should be deflected to pass right by us. If the bomb explodes after zero barrier, games over. (full quote)
5240 So when the rogue asteroid hit the asteroid belt, it set shrapnel pieces right for us. For the next 15 days, the Earth's in a shooting gallery. Even if the asteroid itself hits the water, it's still hitting land. It'll flash boil millions of seawater and slam into the ocean bedrock. Now if it's a Pacific Ocean inpact which we think it will be, it'll create a tidal wave 3 miles high. Covering California and washing up in Denver. Japan's gone, Austraila's wiped out, half the world's population willl be incinerated by the heat blast and the rest will freeze to death from nuclear winter. Nobody knows, that's the way it stays, if news like this got out, there'd be a breakdown of basic Social Services worldwide,rioting, mass religious hysteria, total chaos, you can imagine. (full quote)
5240 None of you have to go. We can all just sit here on Earth, wait for this big rock to crash into it and kill everything and everybody we know. The United States Government just asked us to save the world, anybody wannna say no? (full quote)
5253 1.) How you feeling? 2.) Good, you know, considering I've never been this scared in my entire life. (full quote)
5253 OK boys, give it a rest, I'll take it from here.....This is so much fun, it's freaky! (full quote)
5253 Oh man! what are you doing with a gun in space? (full quote)
5253 Alright, what did we miss? (full quote)
5253 The United states government just asked us to save the world--anyone wanna say no? (full quote)
5253 You got anymore bullets in that gun Sharp? (full quote)
5253 Oh God, it sucks up here. (full quote)
5306 Grace: Do you think there is anyone anywhere right now who's doing exactly the same thing we are? AJ: I hope so, or else what are we trying to save? (full quote)
5523 hey i just wanted to have some fun before i die (full quote)
5553 I hope so, or else what the hell are we trying to save. (full quote)
5644 Harry, I swear to God, she never told me her age! (full quote)
5719 You couldn't tell us who killed Kennedy, could you? (full quote)
5918 #1 Bear would like to stay at the white horse? #2 White House, White House #1 Yeah bear would like to stay in the white house of the lincoln bedroom for the summer (full quote)
5918 #1 Bear would like to stay at the white horse? #2 White House, White House #1 Yeah bear would like to stay in the lincoln bedroom of the white house for the summer (full quote)
5918 I am not gas station. This is sophisticated laboratory, I'm incharge here so touch nothing. (full quote)
5918 #1 That was pretty intense huh. #2 I told you touch nothing, but you a bunch of cowboys (full quote)
5918 Harry the clock on that nine foot nuke it ticking (full quote)
6250 Harry!! i love you!! dont do this!! harry!!! (full quote)
6383 I want to go shoppng! (full quote)
6558 think of it this way he have a front row seat to the end of the world. (full quote)
6558 can you say prison bitch! (full quote)
Paul_Lvr_18 Harry'll do it, I know it. He doesn't know how to fail. (full quote)
7222 well i be damned if my daughter grew up to marry a roughneck shes better than that shes better than all of us (full quote)
8188 We're just in the beginning of space... we're not even in OUTER space (full quote)
8188 Off the grid? what are you a fucking cyborg? (full quote)
9316 i told her harry, i didnt show her! (full quote)
9680 I have repeatedly asked you to call me dad. (full quote)
9739 So basically it's the scariest environment imaginable. That's all you had to say, the scariest environment imaginable... (full quote)
9841 Wait-did you say Grace? Ok, I thought you said Bear! (full quote)
9869 What?! I just wanted to feel the power between my legs brother! (full quote)
10908 It's time to grasp the horror of the situation. (full quote)
11289 Get the book. Get the book. Get the goddamn book !!! (full quote)
11289 Is it true that the guy who finds it first gets to name it ? Ok, then I want to name it Dottie after my wife. Yeah, she's a life sucking thing from which there is no escape. (full quote)
  AJ: no seriously, man to man, i love her HARRY: way wrong answer (full quote)
  American Components, Russian Components... All made in Taiwan (full quote)
  Scariest environment imaginable... that's all you had to say, scariest environment imaginable. (full quote)
  I'm just drilling a hole. In friggen' outer space. (full quote)
  This is turning in to a surrealistic nightmare. (full quote)
  1)I want to go shopping! 2) ME TOO! But this is a traffic jam. (full quote)
  you know what i was thinking? i really don't think that the animal cracker quailifies as a cracker, b/c its sweet which makes it just cookie & putting cheese on something is the defining charateristic of what makes a cracker a cracker. (full quote)
  You're the best, I'm the worst. You're very handsome, I'm not attractive. (full quote)
  #1:Oscar's got some outstanding parking tickets he'd like wiped off his record. #2: 63 tickets in 7 states!#1: I'll tell em Oscar. Let's see, just, um, Nunin's got some lady friends he'd like to see made American citizens, no questions asked. Um, Max would like you to bring back eight-track tapes.I don't know if...Um, Bear would like to stay at the...white horse? #3: white HOUSE, white house. #1: oh yeah, he'd like to stay in the Lincoln bedroom at the white house for the summer, just stuff like that. #4:Well, i think we can take care of...some of that.#1: Oh, and one more thing. None of them want to pay taxes again...ever. (full quote)
  Russian components, American components, ALL MADE IN TAIWAN! (full quote)
  (AJ)Have you ever heard of Evil Canevil? (Russian) NO, I never saw Star Wars. (full quote)
  I address you tonight, not as the president of the United states. Not as a leader of a country,but as a citizen of humanity. (full quote)
  Gracie: I was raised up with rough neck by you, and now you get all shocked and shaken whe I fall in love with one, so you's the hypocrit here? Harry( to Chinese people) Look at all those nice shinny pipes up there. (full quote)
  I said touch nothing, but you a bunch of Cowboys (full quote)
  Hey Sharpe you got anymore bullets in that gun? (full quote)
  1. I just don't think I did the right thing with you. 2. You're wrong! I love my life. I love everything about my life. And I don't blame you for my mother leaving...she left us both. And don't talk like you're not coming back. Promise me that you'll come back. Say I promise. (full quote)
  Thank you Harry. (full quote)
  1. That salesman's on TV! 2. That man's not a salesman. That's your daddy! (full quote)
  1. Baby, do you think it's possible that anyone else in the world is doing this very same thing at this very same moment? 2. I hope so. Otherwise, what the hell are we trying to save? (full quote)
  1. So the whole world knows...tell me you've never let anybody down before. 2. I've never quit yet, how's that? 1. I guess that'll have to do. (full quote)
  1. Hey. 2. what are you doing here? 1. I was just passing by on the uh...I came...3. Who's he? 2. That man's a salesman. Would you go inside? Thank you. 1. He got big. 2. You can't come around like this. The court says you can't. It confuses him. 1. No, I know. I just, I wanted to say that I'm sorry, about everything. And I got something coming up-something kinda big. He just might be proud of me. Would you do something for me? Would you just give him this? You don't have to tell him who it's from, just... *sets model space shuttle on the ground in front of her.* (full quote)
  I think we took a wrong road. what road? Do you see any roads up here? (full quote)
  (AJ)Would you do humanity a favor and shut the hell up!!! (full quote)
  1) You mean to tell me that there's a job that all go no quits Harry Stamper can't handle by himself, and needs my expert advice? 2)Something like that yeah. 1)NO is it something like that, or is it that. 2)You know AJ, you and me have a real problem...there's not a job on this planet that i would want to work with you on. (full quote)
  Harry, why is the clock on that 9-foot nuclear weapon ticking? (full quote)
  so the scariest environment imagineable thats all you need to say, the scariest environment imagineable. (full quote)
  i dont want the whole world to see me, coz i dont think that they'd understand, coz everythings made to be broken, i just want you to know who i am..... (full quote)
  1. Harry, are you sire this is legal? 2. Im legally insane Rock its alright (full quote)
  1. Harry, are you sure this is legal? 2. Im legally insane Rock its alright (full quote)
  life is a journey not a destination (full quote)
  -We spend 250 billion dollars a year on defense. And here we are. The fate of the planet is in the hand of a bunch of retards I wouldn't trust with a potato gun. --So, what's the verdict? ---They'll do it. But they've made a few requests though. --Like? ---Well, Oscar has some outstanding parking tickets he'd like wiped off his record. -----56 TICKETS IN SEVEN STATES! ---Yeah, I'll tell him Oscar. ---Chick wants a two weeks Emperor's package a Caesar's Palace. Max would like you to bring back eight track tapes. Don't know if that's gonna work out. Noonan has two women friends he'd like to see made American citizens no questions asked. Hey, none of you would be able to tell us who shot Kennedy would ya? Bear would like to stay at the...White Horse?? ----WHITE HOUSE! WHITE HOUSE. ---Yeah, he'd like to stay in the Lincoln bedroom of the White House for the summer. Stuff like that. --Well, I guess we could take care of some of that. ------HARRY! ---Yeah, one more thing. None of them want to pay taxes again. EVER. (full quote)
  1.)How about you do mankind a favor,shut the hell up![Throws rock]Have you ever heard of Evil Knievel?2.)No,I've never seen Star Wars. (full quote)
  (singing) I'm leaving on a jet plane! (full quote)
  Rockhound: This is a goddamn Greek Tragedy (full quote)
  Ill get the CIA and FBI,ull be working security at Toys R Us (full quote)
  But I love A.J. Yeah, he's the only guy on this rig that's your age; it's not love, it's a lack of options. (full quote)
  Yeah, it's all funny 'til someone gets shot in the leg! (full quote)
  1) The person who finds her gets to name her, right? 2) yeah 1) I wanna name her dotty, after my wife, shes a viscious, life sucking bitch, from which there is no escape. 2) thats sweet, carl. (full quote)
  grace:daddy? harry:yea hunny,i know that i promised u i'd be coming hom but it looks like im gonna have to break that promise grace:i lied to you too.when i told u i didnt want to be like you cause i am like you and everything good inside of me is from you and i love you so much daddy harry:i love you too, i gotta go now sweetie grace:(touchign the screen) NO! (full quote)
  You're NASA for crying out loud...you're the guys that think this shit up. I'm sure you got a team of men sittin somewhere just thinkin' shit up and someone back them...and you're telling me these 8 boy scouts are the world's only hope?? Jesus! Damnit! (full quote)
  This is how we fix things in Russian Spacestation!! (full quote)
  Get off the nuclear warhead. (full quote)
  Harry Stamper: Houson, you have a problem. You see, I promised my little girl that I was coming home. Now I don't know WHAT you people are doing down there, but we've got a hole to dig up here! (full quote)
  Max: Who's that for? Mr. Ed? You stick that thing in me, I'm going to stab you in the heart with it. You ever see Pulp Fiction? (full quote)
  9:11 (on the shuttle launch countdown clock) (full quote)
  If you dont trust the men you're working with your as good as dead. (full quote)
  You know we're sitting on four million pounds of fuel, one nuclear weapon and a thing that has 270,000 moving parts built by the lowest bidder. makes you feel good, doesn't it? (full quote)
  Yah, We're all astronauts here. (full quote)
  #1. are they going to be able to take off? #2. we hope so! (#1 forces #2 to the ground) #1. THATS MY FAMILY UP THERE! I DONT WANT TO HEAR WE HOPE SO! (full quote)
  I don't keep anything from my daughter. (full quote)
  I have nowhere to go. (full quote)
  American components, Russian components, ALL MADE IN TIWAN!!! (full quote)
3225 This is Harry giving me a hard time and this is Harry telling me its not good enough and this is Harry telling me I can't marry his daughter, thanks a lot I appreciate it (full quote)
3225 1) Yee ha! Ride em cowboy! Yippi-I-O-kiay! 2) Get off the nuclear warhead 1) I was doing Slim Pickins you know when the guy rides the nuclear warhead down to Earth 2)NOW! 1) Oh never saw that one huh? Sorry just wanted to feel the power between my legs again. Hey, Sharp! No nukes! No nukes! No nukes! 3) Got any more bullets in that gun, Sharp? (full quote)
5033 You told AJ's dad right before he died that you would take care of the boy. Now I'm sure that shootin' him isn't takin' care of him. Why don't you put the gun down? You don't want none of this, get out of my way. Just tryin' to give my man a head start that's all. Not to mention the fact that I don't think you wanna kill the best man on your crew before you strike oil. Aw, Chick, I ain't gonna kill him, just gonna take a foot off, a man can work with one foot. You remeber old Frank Marx, who worked with one hand all them years? Yeah, but he wasn't very good. (full quote)
5240 My favorite dish is haggis: heart, lungs, liver, you shove it all in a sheep's stomach, then you boil it. That'll put some hair on your ass. (full quote)
Cryslin Oh god it sucks up here. (full quote)
Cryslin Way wrong answer! (full quote)
Cryslin 1: Have you ever heard of Evil Conevil? 2: No, I’ve never seen Star Wars (full quote)
Cryslin I am the only certified astronaut here and I am going to save your American asses. (full quote)
Cryslin Thank you Jesus, thank you lord. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! (full quote)
Cryslin By Max, take care buddy (full quote)
Cryslin You were the one who pulled them into this! That is my family up there so I don’t want to hear you hope so! (full quote)
Cryslin 1: Damn glad to see ya boy! 2: That’s six words. (full quote)
Cryslin Chew this iron bitch up! (full quote)
Cryslin Fine. clothes. Now! (full quote)
Cryslin Well, we all gotta die right? I’m the guy who gets to do it saving the world. (full quote)
Cryslin Your gonna take care of my little girl now, that’s your job (full quote)
Cryslin American components, Russian components, all made in Taiwan. (full quote)
Cryslin Harry will do it, I know it. He doesn’t know who to fail. (full quote)
Cryslin You Harry, you the man. (full quote)
Cryslin That’s easy for you to say, I owe 100 grand to a badass lone shark, that I spent on a striper named Molly Mouse. (full quote)
10929 I don't want to miss a thing. (full quote)
10929 Leaving On A Jet Plane. (full quote)
11289 Dr:...and your bad cholesterol is shockingly bad. Patient: Pork rind this...(gets up on exam table and starts a strip tease) (full quote)
11289 I know the presidents' chief advisor, we were at MIT together. And, at this point in time, you really don't want to take advice from a man who got a C minus in astrophysics. The presidents' advisors are wrong. I am right. (full quote)
11289 That one kinda looks like you... with breasts. (full quote)
11289 your chicken pot pie has been sitting on the stove for 14 hours...I want a divorce. (full quote)
11654 One toxicoligy test revealed ketimin, that is a very powerful sedetive. 2: sedatives are used all the time doctor. 1: well this one's used on horses. 2: some of these guys are pretty big. (full quote)
11654 some day, when you're all grow'd up, and you have 8 million dollars of your own money on a contract, you can do whatever come's into that AJ idiot mind of yours. (full quote)
11654 i don't know, you see that button, i have no idea what it does. all i know is this think has a beep, and i'm trying to get us there. (full quote)
12076 Harry, I have five words i wanna hear from you: you know A.J., you're a great guy and a great worker and i love you like a son, you were right, and i'm sorry. Actually that's more like 20 words or something but how about just: A.J., i'm sorry, and i love ya. (full quote)
12153 american components, russian components, all made in taiwan! (full quote)
12629 Must be a comfort to know if the space program goes under you can always get a job at Helga's House of Pain (full quote)
12817 I'm not crazy, I'm just a little emotional right now. Ya'll are throwing all this stuff at me...I mean after this is all over could I like get a hug from you or somethin'. (full quote)
13038 Harry... the clock on that 9-foot nuclear weapon is ticking... (full quote)
13284 1. Hey, Noonan, you need 10 grand? We gotta put these girls through college! 2. I love this astronaut stuff! 3. Hey, who the hell you think you guys are? You're hogging all the action! 4. Hey, pinhead, why don't you go find your own party? 3. Why don't you spread the wealth, pal? 1. Here, why don't you go buy yourself a neck? 4. Hey, Mr. Clean!(fighting starts and police arrest them) 1. Hey, we're astronauts, call NASA, they'll confirm it. 2. Yeah, we're all astronauts! 3. Yeah, we're all astronauts. 1. You are so messin with national security, man, you are FIRED tomorrow morning! I'll get the CIA and the FBI,you'll be working security at Toys R'Us. 5. Bye, little astronauta. 1. No, baby, don't leave, i'm going into space and not coming back! (full quote)
13284 1.(talking to dog) Hey, little man, Little Richard, you and me, man, we're going to the top baby, BIG TIME! Man, I ain't gonna be riding this bike the rest of my life, know what I'm sayin? I'm getting a motorcycle, baby. We're gonna travel in style. (full quote)
13284 1. Slow down, Little Richard, we've been ridin all morning, man , you gotta take a dump? (notices special news report on TV) Hey, man, what happened? 2.(broadcasting) The shuttle Atlantis exploded at 3:47 am Eastern Standard Time.(dog runs into trouble at a vendor's blow-up doll collection) 3. Hey! Hey, man, get, that's my Godzilla! 1. Yo fool! Don't be kickin Little Richard, what the hell your problem? 3. That dog's eatin my Godzilla, man, and what's a little runt like you gonna do about it? 1. Get him, Richard, sic him, If I wasn't a Christian, I'd be throwing your fat pineapple eatin ass through the window! (full quote)
13284 Oh, we at war! (meteor explodes nearby) Saddam Hussein is bombing us! (full quote)
13284 1. Why we not going? 2. what? This is New York City, anything could happen, let's see, it could've been a terrorist's bomb, somebody shot, stabbed, and it's finally payday, dude, somebody did not want to get their paycheck, yes? 1. I want to go shopping! 2. Me too! But we ain't going anywhere because this is a TRAFFIC JAM. (full quote)
13331 1.If you had to say, who would you say? 2.I don't know Oscar, who do you think you are? 3. Han Solo 4. No, if anybody is anybody, I'm Han and you, you're Chewbacca. 5. CHEWIE!? Have you even seen Star Wars? (full quote)
13556 Get off the nuclear warhead. (full quote)
13603 a.)I AM STEPPING OUT SIDE! b.) what? You're going out side? a.)I am the only certified astronaut here, and I am saving your American ass! (full quote)
14345 1)Have you ever heard of Evel Kenivel? 2)No, I never saw Star Wars. (full quote)
14345 Prepare the world for bad news. (full quote)
14345 1)Ye-haw! Ride 'em cowboy! Yippy-hi-yo-kiyay! 2)GET OFF...THE NUCLEAR...WARHEAD!!! (full quote)
14345 1)where's Grace? 2)She's upstairs with A.J. (he leaves) Oh wait! Harry, did you say Grace? Uh...I thought you said Bear! (full quote)
14345 1)Do you think anybody else is doing the exact same thing right now? 2)I hope so. Or else what the hell are we trying to save? (full quote)
15504 1:Have you ever heard of Evel Knievel? 2:No,I never saw Star Wars. (full quote)
15648 American Components!!! Russian Components!!! ALL MADE IN TAIWAN!!! (full quote)
15829 The Bible calls this day 'armageddon' - the end of all things. And yet, for the first time in the history of the planet, a species has the technology to prevent its own extinction. The human thirst for excellence, knowledge; every step up the ladder of science; every adventurous reach into space; all of our combined technologies and imaginations; even the wars that we've fought have provided us the tools to wage this terrible battle. Through all of the chaos that is our history; through all of the wrong and the discord; through all of the pain and he suffering; through all of our times, there is one thing that has nourished our souls, and elevated our species above its origins, and that is our courage. Dreams of an entire planet are focused tonight on you brave souls. God speed, and good luck to you. (full quote)
16070 I promised my little girl I'd be coming home... (full quote)
17707 i'm like 98% excited and 2% scared....or maybe it's 2% excited and 98% scared...but thats what makes it so intense (full quote)
17707 i wanna name her dottie, after my wife, a vicious life-sucking bitch from which there's no escape (full quote)
18023 WAY WRONG ANSWER! (full quote)
21057 You want to compare brainpans. I won the Westinghouse prize when I was 12, big deal. Published at 19, so what. I got a double doctorate from MIT at 22, Chemistry and Geology. I taught at Princton for two and a half years. Why do I do this? Because the money's good, the scenery changes and they let me use explosives. (full quote)
22722 Grace: I dont blame you for my mother leaving. She left us both. (full quote)
22722 Grace: And dont talk like you're not coming back. Promis me you'll coem back. Harry: Okay. Grace: Say I promise. Harry: I promise. *Hug* Grace:And if it's not too much trouble, could you bring my finace home with you? (full quote)
22722 I'm marrying you. (full quote)
22722 I know Harry, I'll try not to dissapoint ya. (full quote)
22722 Now listen, man to man! I'm serious... I love her (full quote)
22722 I'll show you how we do things were I come from... *Fires machine gun* (full quote)
22722 HArry: C'mon God, just a little help. Max: I think we're close enough, he mighta heard ya. (full quote)
22722 Get off... the nuclear.. WARHEAD (full quote)
22722 If you're ever going to trust me, just once in your life, trust me now (full quote)
22722 lift press hold, shouldn't be to tough, even I cant screw this up. (full quote)
22722 Always thought of you as a son and I'd be damn proud to have you marry Grace (full quote)
22722 Harry'll do it, I know it. He dosn't know how to fail. (full quote)
22722 Well it's all funny til someone gets shot in the LEG! (full quote)
22722 You dont got a gun on you know do ya? (full quote)
22722 It's like I TOLD her Harry, I didn't SHOW her (full quote)
22722 what if they get up there and forget what there fighting for? For all we know this could be there last night on Earth. I think it's only fair you let them spend it with there family. (full quote)
22722 I hope so. Otherwise what are we trying to save? (full quote)
22722 Oh. WHOAWHOAWHOA!!!! (full quote)
22722 I've got nowhere else to go. (full quote)
22722 Grace: Thats my FAMILY up there! Truman: This is one order you shouldn't follow and you f*** ing know it!!! (full quote)
22722 Houston, you have a problem. You see I promised my little girl I'm coming home. (full quote)
23319 The fate of the planet is in the hands of a bunch of retards I wouldn't trust with a potato gun. (full quote)
Icea 1. Hi, Harry. 2. I´ve reapetedly asked you to call me dad. 1. Sorry, Harry. (full quote)
Icea Miss Stamper? Colonel Willie Sharp, United states Airforce, ma'am. Requesting the permission to shake the hand of the daughter of the bravest man I've ever met. (full quote)
25235 Talk about the wrong stuff. (full quote)
25235 Quincy! Can somebody tell me what this is? A plastic ice cream scoop? What did that cost, about $400? (full quote)
25235 #1) Okay, so Mr. Truman, let's say that we actually do land on this... what's it gonna be like up there? #2) Two hundred degrees in the sunlight, minus two hundred in the shade. Canyons of razor-sharp rock, unpredictable gravitational conditions, unexpected eruptions...things like that. #1) Okay, so the scariest environment imaginable. Thanks. That's all you've got to say -- scariest environment imaginable. (full quote)
KoolKatt 'It's not so bad. Feels kind of tingly.' (full quote)
KoolKatt 'There's just one more thing. None of them want to pay taxes again. Ever.' (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1- Okay Mr. Truman let's say that we actually do land on this, what is it going to be like up there? #2- 200 degrees in the sunlight minus 200 degrees in the shade, canyons of razor sharp rock, unpredictable gravitational conditions, unexpected eruptions, things like that. #1- Okay so the scariest environment imaginable thanks, that's all you gotta say scariest environment imaginable. (full quote)
Marvin Acme Hey Harry, you know we're sitting on four million pounds of fuel, one nuclear weapon, and a thing that has two hundred thousand moving parts built by the lowest bidder. makes you feel good doesn't it. (full quote)
Marvin Acme I don't mean to be the materialistic weasel of this group, but -- You think we'll get hazard pay out of this? (full quote)
27700 1)Have you ever heard of Evel Kanevel? 2) No I never saw Star Wars (full quote)
27700 1) If i was anybody it would be Han Solo. 2) if anybody was Han Solo it would be me. You would probably be Chewbacca. 1) Oh man Chewie? Have you even seen Star Wars? (full quote)
28667 the worst place imaginenable. That's all you had to say (full quote)
ladyrocket19 This is so much fun it's freaky! (full quote)
29410 OH man! what are you doing with a gun in space? (full quote)
29609 This country spends 650 billion dollars a year on defense...And here we are....The fate of the planet is in the hands of a bunch or retards that I wouldnt trust with a potato gun!!!! (full quote)
30083 1. Who do you think you are? 2. Han Solo! 1. No, if anybody's anybody, I'm Han, and you're-Chewbaca. 2. CHEWY? Have you even seen Star Wars?? (full quote)
30083 1. Bear would like to stay in the White..horse? 2. White HOUSE, White House. 1. Yeah, the Lincoln bedroom of the White House for the month of July. (full quote)
30324 Lev: American components, Russian components, all made in TAIWAN! (full quote)
30324 Oscar: Okay, Mr. Truman, let's say that we actually do land on this. What's it gonna be like up there?Truman: 200 degrees in the sunlight, minus 200 in the shade, canyons of razor-sharp rock, unpredictable gravitational conditions, unexpected eruptions, things like that.Oscar: Okay, so the scariest environment imaginable. Thanks. That's all you gotta say, scariest environment imaginable. (full quote)
30324 Chick: I've never told anyone this before, but I'm afraid of flying. So it would be very embarassing to die now.Hound: You think that's bad? I owe 100 grand to a fat-ass loan shark which I spent on a stripper named Molly Mounds.Chick: Boy, that's bad. (full quote)
30324 Chick: Right before A.J.'s dad died, he told you to take care of his son. I don't think shooting him is taking care of him.Harry: I'm not gonna kill him, I'm just gonna shoot him in the leg. He can still work with one leg! Remember that one guy who worked all those years with one arm?Chick: Yeah, but he wasn't very good. (full quote)
30519 You probobly got a room full of guys right now, just thinkin' shit up... (full quote)
30907 Get off, the nuclear, warhead. (full quote)
31465 Rockhound:This looks like you.....with breasts. (full quote)
33361 its ok..i'm temporarily insane (full quote)
33361 I'm a very big man in russia. (full quote)
33361 baby, you got such sweet pillow talk. (full quote)
33944 Right now A.J. I just wanna hear 5 words from you...... I'll never do that again..... (full quote)
33944 C'mon you guys!!! Time to embrace the horror! We got front row tickets to the end of the world!!!! (full quote)
33944 I vote we all stay and die...... but that's me (full quote)
  Sorry about the rim-chuncks on your dash (full quote)
  We spend 50 billion dollars a year on defense, and the fate of the world is in the hands of a bunch of retards I wouldn't trust with a potato gun! (full quote)
  1)Can we get them home 2)I hope so 1)(tackles him) Thats my FAMILY up there! SO I DONT WANT TO HEAR YOU HOPE SO! (full quote)
  1)you should go home 2)I have nowhere else to go (full quote)
  I told you not to touch nothing...but your all a bunch of cowboys. (full quote)
  The Cubs Win the World Series! (full quote)
  make your piece with God AJ. (full quote)
  (1)Alright now listen, man to man, I'm serious...I love her (2) WAY WRONG ANSWER (full quote)
  take care of my little girl. (full quote)
  Daddy dont go.-i love you baby!-Daddy dont go! (full quote)
  take care of her..thats your job (full quote)
  This is one order you shouldn't follow and you fuckin know it (full quote)
  sir the override has been over ridden! (full quote)
  Harry: We win Grace. (full quote)
  C. Sharp: Miss Stamper... Colonel Willie Sharp United states Air Force Ma'am. Requesting permission to shake the hand of the daughter... of the bravest man I've ever met. (full quote)
  at least we'll have a high school named after us (full quote)
  1.One toxocology rport showed traces of catamine, that is a high powered sedative. 2. Sedatives are used all the time doctor. 3. This ones used on horses. 4. Some of these guys are pretty big (full quote)
  1.hey oscar, have you seen a.j? 2. yeah she's over in the hanger with a.j...harry did you say a.j? i thought you said bear (full quote)
  this is what we call a global killer.
(full quote)
10929 I would really like an explanation. (full quote)
10929 I don't want to miss a thing. (full quote)
10929 Oh, we're at war! Saddam Hussein is bombing us! (full quote)
Marvin Acme #1- I suppose being your father doesn't count, huh? #2- Not really. #1- Since when? #2- Since I reached the age of 10 and became older than you, Harry. (full quote)
35277 Basically the worst part's in the bible. (full quote)
36101 Man, what are you doing with a gun in space? (full quote)
36101 I understand that you were handicapped by a natural immaturity, and I forgive you (full quote)
36101 American components, Russian components....ALL MADE IN TAIWAN! (full quote)
42689 Imagine a firecracker on the palm of your hand, you set it off, burns your hand. Now enclose that same firecracker inside your hand, pfff...your wife is going to be opening your ketchuip bottles for the rest of your life. (full quote)
42689 This is one order you shouldn't follow and you fucking know it! (full quote)
42689 #1: Excuse me sir, FBI. #2: No thanks #1: We have a situation. #2: good for you. #1: I think you should come with us, NOW! (full quote)
42689 I know the President's Scientific Advisor, we were at MIT together, but in this case you shouldn't really take the advice of a man that got a c- in astrophysics. (full quote)
42689 #1: I have got the Preseident on Air Force One demanding answers - is it over? #2: general, we've got 11,000 people at NASA trying to work that out now, when we know, you'll know! (full quote)
42689 #1: Honey I am onto something quite big here, go get the phonebook, get the number of those men from NASA. #2: Excuse me, but do I have a sign on me saying 'Karl's Slave'? #1:Go get the god-damned phone book, get the book, get the book! (full quote)
44723 I just wanted to feel the power between my legs. (full quote)
44723 Ah lady, I'm only here to drill. So am I! (full quote)
44723 You know what upsets me? what? People that think that Jethro Tull is just some guy in the band. Who's Jethro Tull? (full quote)
46362 F.B.I. Agent: Sir, we have a national security matter. Rockhound: good for you. (full quote)
47866 *sings*...All my bags are packed, it's time to go, I'm standing here outside your door, I hate to wake you up to say goodbye...*all chime in*..SO KISS ME, AND SMILE FOR ME, TELL ME THAT YOU'LL WAIT FOR ME, HOLD ME LIKE YOU'LL NEVER LET ME GO..... (full quote)
caquinn2 Hey Harry. Yeah, Rock? You know we are sitting on 4 million pounds of fuel, one nuclear weapon, and a thing that has 270,000 moving parts built by the lowest bidder. makes you feel good, doesn't it? (full quote)
tambykay see ya are what ya are in this world that's either one of two things:either you're somebody or you are't nobody (full quote)
twilightaddiction_01 Hey, little man, little Richard, you and me, man, we’re going to the top, baby, BIG TIME! Man, I ain’t gonna be riding this bike the rest of my life, know what I’m saying? I’m getting a motorcycle, baby. We’re gonna travel in style! (full quote)
twilightaddiction_01 Oh, we at war! Saddam Hussein is bombing us! (full quote)
twilightaddiction_01 1)hi, Harry. 2)I've asked you repeatedly to call me dad. 1)sorry,Harry. (full quote)
twilightaddiction_01 1)Harry, are you sure this is legal? 2)I’m temporarily insane, Rock, it’s all right! (full quote)
twilightaddiction_01 I'm not gonna kill him, i'm just gonna shoot him in the leg, he can still work with one leg. (full quote)
twilightaddiction_01 1)harry this is NOT FUNNY! Put the gun down, you're acting insane! 2)Honey, go get some clothes on and get out of the way! 1)you can't control my life! 2)FIne.Clothes!Now! (full quote)
twilightaddiction_01 1)No, seriously,man...I love her. 2)WAY WRONG ANSWER! (full quote)
twilightaddiction_01 It's all fun and games untill somebody gets shot in the leg! (full quote)
twilightaddiction_01 1)A.J. is my choice! 2)Choice? He's the only one here in your age bracket! that's not a choice, that's a lack of option! (full quote)
twilightaddiction_01 Harry, i swear to God, she never told me her age! (full quote)
cajunblond its all fun till somebody gets shot in the leg (full quote)
liamubas I lie to you too.. when I told you that I didn’t want be like you because I am like you and everything good that inside of me i had from you... (full quote)