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History of the World: Part I - 1981 Movie Quotes


Posted ByQuote
892 Could you please step on the same foot at the same time? My tits are falling off! (full quote)
892 No, no YES, no, no, YES,no, no, no, no, YES! (full quote)
4105 I'm sorry sir I flunked flanks-You flunked flanks-Get the flunk out of here. (full quote)
4105 Hump or dink? (full quote)
  It's good to be king (full quote)
4105 Everything so green. (full quote)
4105 I am the Count de money. under his breath: De Monet... De Monet... (full quote)
4217 Bernaise: I don't like your cuffs! I don't like your cuffs! A man's cuffs should be even with the length of his pee-pee! Yours are all the way down to your balls! (full quote)
4217 Count DeMonet: your majesty! You look like the piss boy! King Louis: ... and you look like a bucket of shit! (full quote)
4210 Everybody, step on both feet...My tits are falling off! (full quote)
4210 Hi, I'm Miraim, I'm a vestal virgin. I'm sorry to hear that. (full quote)
4210 Let me you some wine...say when. 8:30. (full quote)
4210 Lord, mighty god, I give you these 15.....10 commandments. (full quote)
4210 It will pipe the shit right out of your house! (full quote)
4210 Have you heard about that new group the christians? They are so poor that they only have one god! (full quote)
4210 Ok virgins, were about to confront......guys! (full quote)
4210 They call him Piss Boy! (full quote)
4210 This will take a miracle...miracle. Move that miserable peice of shit! (full quote)
4210 Dead Rats, get your dead rats. For Rat Salad, Rat Potatos, Rat Pie! (full quote)
4210 Bring In The Swimming Nuns! (full quote)
4210 See Hitler On Ice! See A Viking Funeral! See Jews In Space! (full quote)
4210 I Just Thought Up Something. I call It Centerfold. (full quote)
4210 You Have Picked A Great Selection Of Guys. Oh, well wait till they find that their dates are Vestal Virgins! He..He..He. (full quote)
4210 Everything Looks So green! (full quote)
4210 I'm selling Nothing! Get Your Nothing. Just a few coins will do it! Getyour nothing! (full quote)
4564 We are now armed with mighty joint. (full quote)
  I'm sittin' flippin chickens and I'm lookin through the pickin's, when suddenly these guys break down my walls...I didn't even know them and they grabbed me by the scrotum and they started playing ping-pong with my balls! Oy the agony! Oy the shame! To make my privates public for a game! (full quote)
5104 1) Where you from? 2) Ethiopia 1) what part? 2) 125th street! (full quote)
5757 I was sitting in a temple, I was minding my own business, I was listening to a lovely Hebrew mass. when along came all these soldiers and they threw me in a dungeon and they shoved a red-hot poker up my ass. Is that considerate? Now is that right? and not a tube of Preperation H in sight ! (full quote)
5757 Did you bullshit today? (full quote)
5757 When you bomb at the palace, you really bomb at the palace. (full quote)
  Bob...oh Bob...do I have any openings in which this man might fit? (full quote)
  I'm a Stand Up Philospher. Oh, a Bullshit Artist. (full quote)
  We're Jews in Space, Flying around protecting the Hebrew Race! (full quote)
4105 1. That's it sire, you look like the piss boy. 2. And you look like a bucket of shit. (full quote)
  Roman Soldier) Druggist can you help me? I'm looking for a pack of trojans. Druggist) Darn I just ran out (full quote)
9169 King: It's either hump or death. Girl: Humperdink? King: Not Humperdink. Hump or death. You have ten seconds to decide. hump-death, hump-death, hump-death, your time is running out!!! Girl: allright, alright, hump! oh! (walk away in shame) (full quote)
  (Pop sound)Wash this. (full quote)
11421 It's good to be the king (full quote)
11868 The Christians are so poor ... (Brooks waits for a second and finally his manager yells out) How poor are they? (Brooks nods at his manager and sighs) They are so poor, that they have only ONE God, us Romans have a God for everything, except premature ejaculation ... but I hear thats CUMMING soon! (A homosexual giggles, no one else laughs and Brooks replies) ...The fag got it. (full quote)
  The Jig is up.....AND GONE! (full quote)
  Howz it goin' Marie? (full quote)
  Howz it goin' Marie? (full quote)
  Goodbye head! Hello balls! (full quote)
  1. They shove a living snake up your ass. 2. No but that's very creative. (full quote)
  Get the horses! Get the men! Get me an icepack! (full quote)
  Rolling Papyrus... (full quote)
  (Brooks is a waiter at the Last Supper.) WAITER: Are you all together or is this separate checks? (full quote)
  Roman Red.......Quick get I eed some rolling Papyrus.....You know E-Z Widers. (full quote)
  Person 1:Jesus!! Person 2: Yes? Person 1: what? Person 2: Nothing. (full quote)
  person 1: Did you see a pack of trojans running thru here? Person 2: (Snaps Fingers) Damn, I just rean out. (full quote)
  I was sitting in a temple, I was minding my own business, I was lisntening to a lovely Hebrew mass. When these Papest persons plung-in and they throw me in a dungeon and they shove a red hot poker up my ass. Is that considerate? Is that polite? And not a tube of preparation H in site! (full quote)
  1: do u have any requests? 2: mophine. 1: theres no such thing in medical science. 2: i'll wait (full quote)
  1.Excuse me sir do u own this store? 2. yes i do. 1: well we're lookin for a pack of trojans. 2: shit i just ran out (full quote)
  You are nuts, Comicus, N-V-T-S, nuts. (full quote)
  what's next faggot ? (full quote)
  Emperor- Bring me a small lyre! Roman Office- small liar, small liar. small Liar- I didn't do it! I didn't do it! I wasn't even there! I was at a friend's house. The Check is in the mail! (full quote)
  Okay faggot! whats next!? (full quote)
  *stripper dances* hes a unique.. *stripper dances* hes a unique.. *stripper dances* hes dead.. (full quote)
  sir, you look like the piss-boy (full quote)
  Knight jumps Queen. Bishop jumps queen. Pawns jump queen. GANG BANG! (full quote)
  Ah, but the servant waites....while the master bates! (full quote)
  How does the Senate vote (in unison) Fuck the Poor (full quote)
  1)(pouring tea) Tell me when 2) 8:30 (full quote)
  These 15...oye..10..these ten commandments (full quote)
  Dungeoun Munk: Hey tuaqumatta, what do you say? Tuaqumatta: I just got back from the autadufay. Dungeoun Munk: Aytadufay, what's a autadufay? Tuaqumatta: It's what you aud't to do, but you do anyway. (full quote)
  the jigg is up and gone!!! (full quote)
  Okay, faggot! what's next? (full quote)
  MADAME DuFARGE: And now, let's end this meeting on a high note. (All sing high notes) (full quote)
  Sire! The peasents are revolting! You said it! They stink on ice! (full quote)
10929 We are zo poor we don't even 'ave a language, joost a stoopid accent. (full quote)
10929 See: Hitler on Ice! (full quote)
10929 Don't get saucy with me, Bernaise. (full quote)
11538 (Soldier)Goodbye head! (Comicus)Hello balls! (full quote)
13350 Osdipus:Hey Josephus! Josephus:Hey motherfucker! (full quote)
14147 soldiers an autadufe whats an autadufe brookes its what you audnt do but you do anyway (full quote)
15144 That man is definitely no Unique (full quote)
18205 JESUS!....yes? (full quote)
18205 You dont put out.... he dont get out (full quote)
18294 The queen is such a good sport! (full quote)
18294 1) Do you care if it falls? 2) What? 1) The Roman Empire. 2) F*ck it. 1) Hee hee hee... (full quote)
18294 You men, go northward, you go southward. I'm gonna walk around here in a circle. (full quote)
18294 We are so poor, we don't even have a language! Just this stupid accent! (full quote)
18294 Ah, but the servant waits, while the master baits. (full quote)
18441 1 - Occupation? 2 - Soldier 1 - Have you killed anybody in the last week? 2 - No 1 - Have you tried to kill anybody in the last week? 2 - Yes (full quote)
18904 Blind Man: Hey Josephus, what's up? Jospehus: Hey, what's up, mother fucker? (full quote)
18904 Hump or death! Hump or death! Hump, death! Hump, death! (full quote)
18904 It's good to be the King. (full quote)
19618 I'm Josefus...and I'm the main course at the coliseum. (full quote)
19618 1) Giiive to Oedipuuus! Giiive to Oedipuuus!...Heeey, Josefus!! 2) heeey Mother f*cker.... (full quote)
Smurf_511 Roman #1) You take the left flank, I'll take the right flank. GO!! (crash)Don't u know your left flank from your right flank Roman #2)I flunked flanks, sir. Roman #1) U flunked Flank?!?!? Get the flunk outta here (full quote)
25031 Did you bullshit last week?...NO!...Did you try to bullshit last week?...YES! (full quote)
25031 Here, Wash this… (full quote)
25582 That's a naughty bit o' crumpet (full quote)
38412 only a miracle can save us... (full quote)
38412 jewish ha... They missed. i jumped and they missed. (full quote)
38412 Nice....Nice....not thrilling but nice.... (full quote)
38412 You sir are going on a looooooooong trip yes yes....you sir are going to ROME. But i am in Rome! Did i lie!? (full quote)
40952 Ah! But the sevant waits, while the master baits! (full quote)
40952 We are now armed with... Mighty Joint. (full quote)
41314 You look like the piss-boy>Yeah, well you look like a bucket a'shit! (full quote)
benatarreinking Did he just say big, fat pig? I believe he did, sire. Do you think he meant me? I believe he did, sire. Kill him!!!! Boy, when you die at the Palace, you really die at the Palace! (full quote)
benatarreinking Yes, no, no, no, no,no, no, yes, no, no, no, no, yes, no, no, no, no, yes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, -wait a minute...YES!!!! OLA! (full quote)
46643 Boy you are nuts N V T S Nuts!!!!!! (full quote)
47692 Walk this way! (full quote)
47692 I love quick time harch!! (full quote)
zort Theeeese are miiine! (full quote)
rhps2000 1.) The jig is up! 2.) And gone! (full quote)
rhps2000 I love quick time harch. (full quote)