“Dogma” quotes
(1999)
Kevin Patrick Smith
directed this movie
in 1999
Title Dogma
Year 1999
Director Kevin Smith
Genre Drama, Comedy, Adventure
Year 1999
Director Kevin Smith
Genre Drama, Comedy, Adventure
Plot – Banished from Paradise millions of years ago, the fallen angels Loki and Bartleby are now in Wisconsin. They learn that a church in New Jersey announced a “Plenary Indulgence Day” that will provide them access to Heaven again. It is the latest idea of a liberal cardinal who intends to modernize religion through initiatives of the kind - for example by replacing Christ on the cross with smiling Jesus statues that raise thumbs up. But God’s spokesman, helped by Bethany - who is the last descendant of Christ, two prophets, a muse and the thirteenth apostle strives to prevent Loki and Bartleby from achieving plenary indulgence. If they had to fail, it would mean that God’s word would prove fallible and so everything would have to be called into question.
All actors – Bud Cort, Barret Hackney, Jared Pfennigwerth, Kitao Sakurai, George Carlin, Brian O'Halloran, Betty Aberlin, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Dan Etheridge, Linda Fiorentino, Derek Milosavljevic, Lesley Braden, Marie Elena O'Brien, Janeane Garofalo, Bryan Johnson, Walter Flanagan, Jason Lee, Nancy Bach, Alan Rickman, Armando Rodriguez, Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith, Jeff Anderson, Scott Mosier, Monica Hampton, Chris Rock, Salma Hayek, Dwight Ewell, Benjamin J. Cain Jr., Richard Baderinwa, Javon Johnson, Derrick Sanders, Mark Joy, Linda Levine, Ethan Suplee, Guinevere Turner, Jonathan Gordon, Matthew Maher, Nancy Mosser, Robert Holtzman, Alanis Morissette, , Tony Amen, Chris Barrett, Ming Chen, Alexandra Dimopoulos, Michael Fullmer, William Hutchings, Robert Kotaska, John Launder, Kimberly Loughran, Jim Mahfood, Brendan McFadden, Phil Nardozzi, Joe Nozemack, Ernest O'Donnell, MarieKaren Pechinski, Vincent Pereira, Brian Quinn, Bob Schreck, Joe Shelby, Rusty Sheridan, J.E. Smith, Vanessa Tolino, Patrick Walsh, Adrienne Wehr
show all“Dogma” Quotes 35 quotes
“The humans have besmirched everything bestowed on them. They were given Paradise, they threw it away. They were given this planet, they destroyed it. They were favored best among all His endeavors, and some of them don't even believe He exists. And in spite of it all, He's shown them infinite fucking patience at every turn. What about us? I...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Jay: Yo man, tell me something about me.
- Rufus: You masturbate more than anyone on the planet.
- Jay: Aw fuck, everyone knows that. Tell me something nobody knows.
- Rufus: When you do it, you're thinking about guys.
- Jay: Dude, not all the time.”“Read the Bible again sometime. Women are painted as bigger antagonists than the Egyptians and Romans combined. It stinks.”
“- Rufus: I'm telling you, man, this ceremony is a big mistake.
- Cardinal Glick: The Catholic Church does not make mistakes.
- Rufus: Please. What about the Church's silent consent to the slave trade?
- Bethany: And its platform of noninvolvement during the Holocaust?
- Cardinal Glick: All right, mistakes were made.”“- Bethany: Were they sent to Hell?
- Metatron: Worse. Wisconsin. For the entire span of human history.”“Church laws are fallible because they're created by man.”
“Tell a person that you're the Metatron and they stare at you blankly. Mention something out of a Charlton Heston movie and suddenly everybody is a theology scholar.”
“- Bethany: Jesus didn't have any brothers or sisters. Mary was a virgin.
- Rufus: Mary gave birth to Christ without having known a man's touch, that's true. But she did have a husband. And do you really think he'd have stayed married to her all those years if he wasn't getting laid? The nature of God and the Virgin birth, those are leaps of...” (continue)(continue reading)“Bethany, you of anyone should know that tits dont make a woman. As you can see, I lack definition.”
“- Bartleby: You know, maybe you're wrong about this slaughter thing. How can you even be sure what incurs the Lord's wrath these days? Times change. I remember when eating meat on a Friday was supposed to be a Hell-worthy trespass.
- Loki: The major sins never change. Besides, you know, I can spot a commandment-breaker from, like, a mile away.”“When are you people going to learn? It's not about who's right or wrong. No denomination's nailed it yet, because they're all too self-righteous to realize that it doesn't matter what you have faith in, just that you have faith. Your hearts are in the right place, but your brains gotta to wake up.”
“- Bethany: What's he like?
- Metatron: God? Lonely. But funny. He's got a great sense of humor. Take sex for example. There's nothing funnier than the ridiculous faces you people make mid-coitus.
- Bethany: Sex is a joke in heaven?
- Metatron: The way I understand it, it's mostly a joke down here, too.”“- Bartleby: You know, here's what I don't get about you. You know for a fact that there is a God. You've been in His presence. He's spoken to you personally. Yet I just heard you claim to be an atheist.
- Loki: I just like to fuck with the clergy, man. I just love it, I love to keep those guys on their toes.”“Faith is like a glass of water. When you're young, the glass is small, and it's easy to fill up. But the older you get, the bigger the glass gets, and the same amount of liquid doesn't fill it anymore. Periodically, the glass has to be refilled.”
“- Rufus: So what do we do now?
- Metatron: Well, I say we get drunk, because I'm all out of ideas.”- Bartleby: One of the last sacred promises imparted to Peter, the first Pope, by the Son of God before He left was... "Whatever you hold true on earth..."...
- Loki: "I'll hold true in heaven".
- Bartleby: It's dogmatic law. The Catholic Church says it's so, God must adhere, this thing has a papal sanction...
- Loki: Let it never be said that... (continue)(continue reading)
Highlights
