“- Rick Jarmin: Put your head between your knees.
- Marianne Graves: [doing so] Now what?
- Rick Jarmin: Kiss your ass goodbye. We got no wheels, and we're coming down!”

Mel Gibson - Rick Jarmin
Goldie Hawn - Marianne Graves

“- Frank Corvin: Hawk, this isn't a stripped-down showplane. You've got to do it their way.
- Hawk Hawkins: I don't need a damn computer to tell me how to land an aircraft.
- Roger Hines: It's not an aircraft, Colonel. It's a flying brick, and you've got to use the computer's protocols.”

Clint Eastwood - Frank Corvin
Tommy Lee Jones - Hawk Hawkins
Courtney B. Vance - Roger Hines

“In the event of a water landing, I have been designed to act as a flotation device.”
Brent Spiner - Data

“- Oscar Madison: Okay what do you wanna talk to me about?
- Felix Ungar: Wait until the seat belt light is off.
- Oscar Madison: You can't talk with your seat belt on? Is that some new federal law?”
Walter Matthau - Oscar Madison
Jack Lemmon - Felix Ungar

“Everyone has sex on aeroplanes.”
Rufus Sewell - Frank