“- Peter: Remember the squirrels?
- Jack: Don't even say it.
- Peter: First I knocked them out of their nest with a rock.
- Jack: Peter!
- Peter: Then I saved them.”
Peter Gallagher - Peter
Bill Pullman - Jack

“- Sarah Whittle: Alan, you wrestled an alligator for me.
- Alan Parrish: It was a crocodile. Alligators don't have that little fringe on their hind leg.
- Sarah Whittle: My mistake.”
Bonnie Hunt - Sarah Whittle
Robin Williams - Alan Parrish

“- Charlie Johnson: I have someone for you.
- Bob Rueland: No, Charlie, no.
- Charlie Johnson: Come on, she's smart, she has a great body, intelligent, great body... you gotta start going out! She's really great, her cat was a patient of mine!
- Bob Rueland: I'm a dog person.”
David Alan Grier - Charlie Johnson
David Duchovny - Bob Rueland

“- Israel Swan: If you don't find a nice girl in Colorado, just remember, there's plenty of mountain sheep.
- George Noon: How big of mountain sheep?”
Jon Hegel - Isreal Swan
Dian Bachar - George Noon

“- Mia: I can't do this, I'm a girl.
- Gym Teacher Harbula: What am I? A duck?”
Anne Hathaway - Mia Thermopolis
Mindy Burbano - Gym Teacher Harbula