“- Ed Horman: He, he seems so innocent. Almost deliberately naive.
- Beth Horman: Is that so bad?
- Ed Horman: Is that so good?
- Beth Horman: You raised him.”
Jack Lemmon - Ed Horman
Sissy Spacek - Beth Horman

“I feel that I'm a pretty intuitive person. Except for that one guy who said he was an advanced scout for an alien invasionforce but it turned out he just wanted to get inside my pants.”
Jennifer Tilly - Lynn Holden

“Think of it as a business partnership: you need brains, and I need legs - and the Wizard of Oz doesn't live in South Cincinnati.”

Kieran Culkin - Kevin Dillon

“- Fink: You had her in the woods and you just talked? You didn't do anything. You didn't do anything?
- Spaz: I held her hand when we walked home.
- Fink: Held her hand? Spaz, you're on your way! Held her hand. In the woods! And it was dark!”

Keith Knight - Fink
Jack Blum - Spaz

“Leopold, what's an intellectual genius like you want with a simple young nurse like me?”
Julie Hagerty - Dulcy