“Excuse me, Johnny, I've got to hang up. We're expecting a call from you any minute.”

Nathan Lane - Tim

“I miss the days when you had one phone number and one answering machine and that one answering machine has one cassette tape and that one cassette tape either had a message from a guy or it didn't. And now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting.”
Drew Barrymore - Mary

“- Emma Dinsmore: Does the fact that you called seventeen times last night with no response from me send any kind of signal to you?
- Alex Sheldon: I mean, I'm not an idiot. I figured you probably wanted to talk to me but that your machine was broken.”
Kate Hudson - Emma Dinsmore
Luke Wilson - Alex Sheldon

“- Toby Hart: It's for you, Mom. It's Uncle Max.
- Penny Hart: Uncle Max. I don't believe it. Tell him that I'm, uh... Tell him that I'm not here.
- Toby Hart: She says to say she's not here.
- Max Devlin: Huh? Well, then you tell her it's somebody else. I have to talk to her.
- Toby Hart: He says to say he's someone else.”
Adam Rich - Toby Hart
Susan Anspach - Penny Hart
Elliott Gould - Max Devlin

“- Madison Bell: So, what you're saying is that making love to me was a mistake?
- Ben Cronin: Yes.”
Erika Christensen - Madison Bell
Jesse Bradford - Ben Cronin