“I just killed two people. I just took a spoon and pushed it through him. I swear to god I'm going to piss my pants Phoebe, I swear to god I'm going to piss my pants.”
Jesse Eisenberg - Mike Howell

“We're all scared, and why shouldn't we be? What do you think they're using in this war, water pistols?”

James Cagney - Eddie Bartlett

“- Beaumont Livingston: I'm still scared as a motherfucker, O.D. They talking like they serious as hell giving me time for that machine gun shit.
- Ordell Robbie: Come on, man, they just trying to put a fright in your ass.
- Beaumont Livingston: If that's what they doing, they done did it.”
Chris Tucker - Beaumont Livingston
Samuel L. Jackson - Ordell Robbie

“There were a lot of things that I didn't know after the World Trade Center attack. But one thing was clear: whether it was before or after September 11th, a public that's this out of control with fear should not have a lot of guns or ammo laying around.”
Michael Francis Moore - Himself

“- Matthew 'Matt' Farrell: You probably shouldn't antagonize them, since they have all the loaded guns.
- Lucy Gennario McClane: Will you just take a minute and dig deep for a bigger set of balls, 'cause you're gonna need 'em.”

Justin Long - Matthew 'Matt' Farrell
Mary Elizabeth Winstead - Lucy Gennaro McClane