“- Astrid Magnussen: Looks don't interest me.
- Paul Trout: That's easy for you to say, you've never been ugly.”
Alison Lohman - Astrid Magnussen
Patrick Fugit - Paul Trout

“You're giving her beauty advice? Do you even own a fucking mirror?”
Melissa McCarthy - Mullins

“I found the people at the Oscars singularly unattractive, didn't you? I noticed a general decline in facelifts and hair transplants. Must be the economy, don't you think?”
Maggie Smith - Diana Barrie

“- Frank Flannagan: Everything about you is perfect.
- Ariane Chavasse: I'm too thin! And my ears stick out, and my teeth are crooked and my neck's much too long.
- Frank Flannagan: Maybe so, but I love the way it all hangs together.”
Gary Cooper - Frank Flannagan
Audrey Hepburn - Ariane Chavasse

“- Max Conners: How do I look?
- Page Conners: If I were a guy, I'd do you.”
Sigourney Weaver - Max Conners
Jennifer Love Hewitt - Page Conners