They said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, "healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?". Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world.
Sam McMurray - Glen

“- Mr. Peabody: Badparents make bad children!
- Flo Healy: Oh so now I'm a badparent just because I hate my kid!
- Mr. Peabody: You took him, he's yours!
- Little Ben Healy: That's because you conned us into him!
- Mr. Peabody: What am I supposed to do with the little creep? He's already been returned 30 times!”
Gilbert Gottfried - Mr. Peabody
Amy Yasbeck - Flo Healy
John Ritter - Benjamin 'Ben' Healy, Jr.

“This orphan stuff is like growing up in a dog pound. Everybody wants puppies.”
Mary-Kate Olsen - Amanda Lemmon

“- Leigh Anne Tuohy: I'd like to become a legal guardian.
- CPS Welfare Worker: God help that child!”
Sandra Bullock - Leigh Anne Tuohy
Maria Howell - CPS Welfare Worker

“- Sonny Koufax: I got some interesting news.
- Lenny Koufax: Oh yeah, what?
- Sonny Koufax: I kind of adopted a kid.
- Lenny Koufax: What the hell are you talking about?
- Sonny Koufax: I'm talking about you being a grandfather! Congratulations!”
Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax
Joseph Bologna - Lenny Koufax