“- Miss Ungermeyer: Mr. Craft, have you even started on your summer reading list?
- Ethan Craft: I finished it.
- Miss Ungermeyer: You read eleven books?
- Ethan Craft: I mean I read the list!”
Alex Borstein - Miss Ungermeyer
Clayton Snyder - Ethan Craft

“Now what you boys want to do is you want to graduate from high school, get decent jobs. Take a shot at white-collar crime, that's where the real money is!”

James Woods - John Moss

“- Anthony: What did you bring a thousand pounds to school for? Can't you see that's suspicious?
- Damian: It's not suspicious, it's unusual.”
Lewis McGibbon - Anthony
Alex Etel - Damian

“- Mike Baker: Dad, she's got her period. Should make for an interesting honeymoon, huh?
- Jim Baker: Where are you learning that stuff?
- Mike Baker: School.
- Jim Baker: Good. I get my money's worth.”
Justin Henry - Mike Baker
Paul Dooley - Jim Baker

“In private school, we never bent down to put our mouths on anything unless it had a yacht.”
Beth Behrs - Caroline Channing