“[Clark punches the Marty Moose statue]
- Ellen Griswold: Clark, what are you doing?
- Clark Griswold: We watch his program... We buy his toys, we go to his movies... he owes us. Doesn't he owe us, huh? He owes the Griswolds, right? Fucking a right he owes us!
- Ellen Griswold: Clark, you're scaring me!”
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“I got a lot of friends crazier than you. But none better.”
Jason Bernard - Tyrone Wattell

“You don't know how hard it is for me to make friends. My parents made me skip two grades in school. My only friend is Cheyenne, and it's only because... my mom and her mom went to college together. So, she kinda has to. It's like everybody thinks I'm some kind of freak or something. Like I'm crazy.”

Alicia Silverstone - Darian Forrester

“- Ellen Griswold: Gee Cath looks like you really got your hands full.
- Cousin Catherine: Oh, it's not so bad. Eddie says after the baby comes, I can quit one of my night jobs.”
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
Miriam Flynn - Cousin Catherine

“- Ding Bell: Benji, I tell you, he said the man who's flying should be talking on this thing.
- Benjy Benjamin: What, am I supposed to do everything? You want me to fly the airplane, you want me to work the radio, what are you gonna... What are you, the hostess?”
Mickey Rooney - Ding Bell
Buddy Hackett - Benjy Benjamin