“- The Crook: I was only in it for the birds after the show.
- Woman with ants on face: You, Steve Jones, are nothing but a walking dildo doing a good plumbing job. You'd swim through a river of snot, wade nostril deep through a mile of vomit, as long as you thought there was a sexy cunt at the end of it - and those cunts!”
Steve Jones - The Crook
Jean Warren - Woman with ants on face

“Right now, I'm trying to figure out which one of you looks the most like my dick. If you got something to say, say it. Otherwise get the fuck outta here.”

Damon Wayans - Jimmy Dix

“What's wrong, Jayboy? Don't got no hair on your inch worm yet?”
Victor Rasuk - Tony

“- Mr. Herbert Garrison: How would you like to go see the school counselor?
- Eric Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?
- Mr. Herbert Garrison: What did you say?
- Eric Cartman: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was... how would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison?”

Trey Parker - Mr. Herbert Garrison
Trey Parker - Eric Cartman

“- Shannon: Jana, isn't that your muff diving little sister over there with her disgusting boscoe-flavored girlfriend?
- Jana: Insert it in your clammy crevice, will ya, Shannon?”
Teresa Hill - Shannon
Denise Richards - Jana