“Imagine a giant cockroach, with unlimited strength, a massive inferiority complex, and a real short temper, is tear-assing around Manhattan island in a brand new Edgar suit. That sound like fun?”

Tommy Lee Jones - Kay

“You're probably a blessing in disguise. Fucking good disguise.”
Lisa Kudrow - Lucia DeLury

“- Hauser: Howdy, stranger! This is Hauser. If things have gone wrong, I'm talking to myself and you don't have a wet towel around your head. Now, whatever your name is, get ready for the big surprise. You are not you, you're me.
- Douglas Quaid: No shit.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Hauser
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Douglas Quaid

“- Llug: Want to breed?
- Madmartigan: Tempting, but no.”

Ron Tarr - Llug
Val Kilmer - Madmartigan

“- Lt. Wilbur Finletter: My God! It's Adolf Hitler!
- Mason Dixon: This is Sam Smith. He's our undercover expert. He's only disguised as Adolf Hitler.”
J. Stephen Peace - Lt. Wilbur Finletter
David Miller - Mason Dixon