“Somebody took my phone number and called Afghanistan. I've never talked to anyone in Afghanistan, I don't know nobody in Afghanistan, and even if did know anyone, I wouldn't talk to that Afghan ass for three hours. I won't talk to my daddy for three hours.”
Chris Rock - Detective Lee Butters

“- Dr. Josiah Boone: Jerry, I'll admit as one man to another that, economically, I haven't been of much value to you. But do you suppose you could put one on credit?
- Jerry (bartender): If talk was money, Doc, you'd be the best customer I got.”
Thomas Mitchell - Dr. Josiah Boone
Jack Pennick - Jerry (bartender)

“- Black: You run your mouth too much. You learn to control your mouth, you might could fuck both of 'em.
- Blue: I don't wanna fuck both of 'em.”

Master P - Black
Anthony Johnson - Blue

The other day, I was going down on my girlfriend. I said to her, "Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy". She said, "Why did you say that twice?". I said, "I didn't". See, 'cause of the echo.

Shane Black - Hawkins

“- Dashiki: Talk dirty to me.
- Ashtray: I'm cumming!
[grunts and makes ridiculous orgasm face]
- Dashiki: What did you say?
- Ashtray: Never mind. I'll tell you when I wake up.”

Tracey Cherelle Jones - Dashiki
Shawn Wayans - Ashtray