“I am going to Bangkok to assume a missionary position.”

Joan Messiah - Nun

“- Nun: Have you ever been down the Yellow River?
- Leon: ...Yea, once in the '80s but I did not enjoy it...”
Joan Messiah - Nun
Tim Meadows - Leon Phelps

“I like to help people. I am like Mother Theresa... but of bonin'.”
Tim meadows - Leon Phelps

“- Mother Superior: Damn! Lost another one!
- Nun: Son of a bitch.”

Lillian Carlson - Mother Superior
Nicole Robert - Nun

- Elwood Blues: You promised you'd visit the "Penguin" the day you got out of prison.
- 'Joliet' Jake Blues: Yeah... so I lied to her.
- Elwood Blues: You can't lie to a nun, Jake. We're gonna go in, and see the "Penguin".
Dan Aykroyd - Elwood Blues
John Belushi - Joliet' Jake Blues