“You don't know the power you have over me. One word from you, one look, and I'm four years old again.”

Tamlyn Tomita - Waverly

“That's the onions. It makes you eyes water.”

John Savage - Det. Karl Francis Hettinger

- Gwen Cromwell Piper: I'm just trying to protect you.
- Marnie Piper: Yeah, you're protecting us from being anything but a bunch of vegetables. Hey look! I'm a potato, are you happy now? Maybe I'll put down some roots in the carpet. "Oh no Marnie, it's too dangerous!". There're things about vegetables that you don't understand.
Judith Hoag - Gwen Cromwell Piper
Kimberly J. Brown - Marnie Piper

“Cross that line, kid, I'll cut your little teddy bear in half. Last kid that crossed that line, I had to summon up the Spinach Monster with my rock 'n' roll magic. The Spinach Monster grabbed him, pulled him underground and made him eat spinach all day. Rumor has it, kid... he's still there.”
Jeffrey Falcon - Buddy

You guys think you're so fucking cool, it makes me sick! “Let's go make fun of the vegans and their crazy lifestyle!” We're not hurting anyone! Go eat a hamburger and choke on a cow dick!
David Spade - Shiloh