“- Gertrude Steiney: You try getting ready quickly when you look like this! I'm so fat and there's gonna be nothing but beautiful skinny girls there!
- Ollie Trinke: That's because they're all coked-out whores, honey.
- Gertrude Steiney: I wanna be a coked-out whore!”

Jennifer Lopez - Gertrude Steiney
Ben Affleck - Ollie Trinke

“- James: Whoa! You really got your figure back, didn't you?
- Mollie: This is not my figure!
- James: Well then, you got Dolly Parton's figure back!”

John Travolta - James
Kirstie Alley - Mollie

“- Roger Morgan: Wet or dry, you're the handsomest woman I ever did see. Spirit and a fine sturdy body. It's a noble combination, Miss Prescott. Why, for you, child bearin' would come as easy as rollin' off a log.
- Lilith Prescott: Well, I... think I'd rather roll off a log, Mr. Morgan.”
Robert Preston - Roger Morgan
Debbie Reynolds - Lilith Prescott

“I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,' 'goodbye,' and 'I'm pregnant'.”
Dean Martin

“Every time I decide I want a child I get another pet. I have 3 dogs, 13 birds and 3 horses, what does that tell you?”
Alyssa Milano