“- Dale Putley: $5,000 in cash. What is he doing with $5,000 in cash?
- Jack Lawrence: He stole it.
- Dale Putley: Why do you always jump to the worst possible conclusion?
- Jack Lawrence: Okay, he won it in a hair-whirl contest.”

Robin Williams - Dale Putley
Billy Crystal - Jack Lawrence

“Now what you boys want to do is you want to graduate from high school, get decent jobs. Take a shot at white-collar crime, that's where the real money is!”

James Woods - John Moss

“- Mike Baker: Dad, she's got her period. Should make for an interesting honeymoon, huh?
- Jim Baker: Where are you learning that stuff?
- Mike Baker: School.
- Jim Baker: Good. I get my money's worth.”
Justin Henry - Mike Baker
Paul Dooley - Jim Baker

“- Akeelah: Why would anybody want to represent a school where they can't even put doors on the toilet stalls?
- Mr. Welch: Akeelah, if we can't show students can perform we're not going to have money for books let alone bathroom doors.”

Keke Palmer - Akeelah
Curtis Armstrong - Mr. Welch

“In private school, we never bent down to put our mouths on anything unless it had a yacht.”
Beth Behrs - Caroline Channing