“- Royal Tenenbaum: I've always been considered an asshole for about as long as I can remember. That's just my style. But I'd really feel blue if I didn't think you were going to forgive me.
- Henry Sherman: I don't think you're an asshole, Royal. I just think you're kind of a son of a bitch.
- Royal Tenenbaum: Well, I really appreciate that.”
Gene Hackman - Royal Tenenbaum
Danny Glover - Henry Sherman

“- Delilah: Are you hitting on me, Casey?
- Casey: No. No, I just think that you can be cool. Sometimes. This not being one of them.”
Jordana Brewster - Delilah Profitt
Elijah Wood - Casey Connor

“- Suzy DeSoto: I wanna know what you think!
- Suzy's Trick: I don't have no opinion.
- Suzy DeSoto: Well, make one up!
- Suzy's Trick: What the hell for?
- Suzy DeSoto: Because I paid $12.99 for this goddamn dress, that's what for! 13 bucks to look nice for guys like you... now I ain't takin' it off 'til you tell me how you like it!”
Debra Winger - Suzy DeSoto
William Bronder - Suzy's Trick

“- Joanne Herring: May I ask what it is that I've done to make you dislike me, Mr. Avrakotos?
- Gust Avrakotos: I like you just fine, Mrs. Herring, it's just been my experience that when people with money and too much free time get involved in politics, pretty soon, I forget who it is I'm supposed to be shooting at.”
Julia Roberts - Joanne Herring
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Gust Avrakotos

“- Nina Barona: I'm a little better than you think, Mr. O'Brien.
- Bill O'Brien: That wouldn't be hard.”
Rita Hayworth - Nina Barona
Douglas Fairbanks Jr. - Bill O'Brien