“You have inherited the fortune of the Frankensteins, I trust you will not inherit their fate.”

Basil Rathbone - Baron Wolf von Frankenstein

“- Vince McCain: What about a small advance on my inheritance?
- Rod McCain: What inheritance?
- Vince McCain: I'm your son! You have to leave me something.
- Rod McCain: Why?
- Vince McCain: 'Cause you screwed up my whole childhood!
- Rod McCain: How could I have? I wasn't even there.”

Kevin Kline - Vince McCain
Kevin Kline - Rod McCain

“Now, on the day I end it all, I'd like to leave Margaret the bearded lady my rhinestone collar and my wet-dry shaver. I'd like to leave Jack the midget nothing. It's too late for you, Jack. You're a short... hey, get out of there! You're in my landing space!”

Albert Brooks - Jacob the Tiger

“Can I have your watch when you are dead?”
Humberto Ortiz - Pablo

“All that I ask is that you do each and every little thing that pops into my head, while I enjoy the enormous fortune your parents left behind.”
Jim Carrey - Count Olaf