“- Jake: Niente. Kids must've cleaned him out.
- Mama Fratelli: Sure, right before they ate him!
- Francis: Stupid.”

Robert Davi - Jake
Anne Ramsey - Mama Fratelli
Joe Pantoliano - Francis

“- Eden Brent: There you are. Mr. Purcell, you have been stealing our dog yummies and eating them.
- Warner Purcell: Absolutely not. That's an outrageous suggestion.
- Eden Brent: Then let me see in your pockets.
- Warner Purcell: Would I eat dog food?
- Eden Brent: You'd eat anything that didn't eat you first, you big fat pot of helium.”
Tracey Ullman - Eden Brent
Jim Broadbent - Warner Purcell

“- Joan Stupid: Oh dear I left the garbage out over night.
- Stanley Stupid: Oh no. Someone's stolen our garbage again.”
Jessica Lundy - Joan Stupid
Tom Arnold - Stanley Stupid

“- Policeman: This postal ploy of yours is the most evil caper of our age, Mr. Sender. How will you ever top yourself?
- Evil Sender: With a crime so unthinkable that no-one has ever dared to attempt to attempt it: to rob an entire nation of its garbage.
- Policeman: The one resource no-one ever thinks to protect!”
Scott Kraft - Policeman
Sir Christopher Lee - Evil Sender

“Nobody steals from me. Nobody.”
Louis Mandylor - Riggi