“There should be a prerequisite, a curriculum for being a parent before people attempt. Don’t try this at home!”
Adrien Brody - Henry Barthes

“- Roman: How about the gourmet here, you know what he wanted? Hotdogs! You know what they make those things out of, Chet? You know? Lips and assholes!
- Chet: Hahaha I guess I'm old-fashioned I like assholes.
- Roman: Ha and I like lips! kisses Connie's lips If I could market lips like those I would make another million.”
Dan Aykroyd - Roman Craig
John Candy - Chet Ripley

“- Dave: What's my mom screaming about?
- Link: She's bumed cause I snaked her last bagel.”
Sean Astin - Dave
Brendan Fraser - Link

Whatever Dad puts in front of you, take a bite and say, "Mmm, just like Mom's". Okay?
Janel Parrish - Margot

“Mother never approved of Scraps jumping up like this. But then again, she never approved of anything.”

Johnny Depp - Victor Van Dort