“I can't imagine what you're like after you actually sleep with someone!”

Gwyneth Paltrow - Maud Bailey

“You are as abandoned and noisy as any character in a porn film, Laura. You are Ian's plaything, responding to his touch with shrieks of orgasmic delight. No woman in the history of the world is having better sex than the sex you are having with Ian... in my head.”

John Cusack - Rob Gordon

“Wouldn't it be cool to screw in the principal's bedroom?”
Tara Strong - Carla Morgan

“- Skip Winkley: Who is your biggest sexual fantasy?
- Barney's Waiter: Denzel Washington.
- Jeffrey: The guy at the gym.
- Sterling: Yoko Ono. ...To see the apartment!”
Robert Klein - Skip Winkley
K. Todd Freeman - Barney's Waiter
Steven Weber - Jeffrey
Sir Patrick Stewart - Sterling

“Tad, if you are going back to the airport I will ride with you, and by the Route 73 cloverleaf, I will have given myself to you in ways you've only read about in the drugstore!”
Ginnifer Goodwin - Cathy Feely