“Why don't you start a consulting firm? There's always somebody out there willing to pay an opinionated old bastard for some shitty advice.”

Austin Lysy - Liam

“- Elizabeth: When you think you are in love your eyes are closed to all logic and reason. It's not the time to make a big decision.
- Carla: No but my eyes are not closed mother...
- Elizabeth: Shh dear Carla we can have this discussion without you getting upset in front of everybody, Carla...
- Carla: [shouting] My eyes are not closed mother!”
Diane Keaton - Elizabeth
Juliette Lewis - Carla

“I'm being her mother! That's what mothers do with daughters; they talk about how to look prettier.”

Catherine O'Hara - Jessica Wilhern

“What kind of mother would I be if I didn't give my girls tits... tips?”
Dustin Hoffman - Dorothy Michaels

- Donna Mildred Martin: The only advice my Mom ever gave me was, "Don't live in the same city as your parents".
- David Basner: What crappy advice. I can't get my parents to move.
Bess Armstrong - Donna Mildred Martin
Tom Hanks - David Basner