“- Max: You didn't happen to see a fellow brought in here, looks a little bit like me, but he's got a little bit of a sharper chin and higher cheekbones?
- Bartender: So, a better-looking guy?”
Jason Bateman - Max
August Kensington - Bartender

“- Carter: You just jealous, Lee, 'cause women like me. I'm tall, dark and hansome and you third world ugly.
- Lee: I am not third world ugly, women think I'm cute. Like Snoopy.
- Carter: Lee, Snoopy is 6 inches taller than you.”
Chris Tucker - Carter
Jackie Chan - Lee

“- Ford Fairlane: Disco Express? They blew, dog. And that lead singer, he kinda looked like...
- Lt. Amos: Like me, right?
- Ford Fairlane: Yeah. I was gonna say he looked like shit, but... he looked like you.”
Andrew Dice Clay - Ford Fairlane
Ed O'Neill - Lt. Amos

“Hello, snotface. Yuck, what happened to you? You're all older, you're even uglier! Look, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to be sick all over you, immediately. Lie down.”

Rik Mayall - Drop Dead Fred

“Sonora, you have to be extremely careful with your appearance. I mean, having no natural beauty of your own you really need to help yourself.”
Kathleen York - Marie