“We can go away right now. I pack light. Everything we need is right here in my pants.”
Leslie William Nielsen - Ryan Harrison

“- Honey Horne: Take me, Garth!
- Garth Algar: Where? I'm low on gas and you need a jacket.”
Kim Basinger - Honey Horne
Dana Carvey - Garth Algar

“I haven’t had sex in 15 years! And I want to fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”
Robert De Niro - Dick Kelly

“- Philip Edwards: Sometimes the shepherd needs the comfort of the sheep.
- Elena Hood: I'm going to try hard not to understand the implications of that.”
Michael Cumpsty - Philip Edwards
Joan Allen - Elena Hood

“- Sex Shop Salesman: I'm telling you - you're gonna need a lubricant for this vibrator. Unless your date's inflatable. Ha!
- Paul Bland: For your information, I'm buying this to use as a novelty cocktail stirrer!
- Sex Shop Salesman: Sure!”
John Paragon - Sex Shop Salesman
Paul Bartel - Paul Bland