“- Alex: You're getting a lion?
- Dante: Yeah.
- Alex: Why?
- Dante: To protect my shit.
- Alex: Never heard of a dog?
- Dante: Dude, you can get past a dog. Nobody fucks with a lion.”
Allen Covert - Alex
Peter Dante - Dante

“Look, defenseless babies!”

Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher

“Offense sells tickets. Defense wins games.”
Christine Dunford - Coach Davis

“I've seen you guys can shoot but there's more to the game than shooting. There's fundamentals and defense.”
Gene Hackman - Coach Norman Dale

“- Finnerty: John Cale, why do you want to be in the Secret Service?
- Cale: I can't think of a more important job than protecting the President.”
Maggie Gyllenhaal - Finnerty
Channing Tatum - Cale