“- Mike Lowrey: Let me tell you how bad a day you're having: right now you're jacking a couple of cops.
- White Carjacker: Oh, yeah? Well, I'm a stand-up comedian. And I suck! That's why I need your car.”

Will Smith - Mike Lowrey
Kim Coates - White Carjacker

“- 'Joliet' Jake Blues: What the hell is this?
- Elwood Blues: This was a bargain. I picked it up at the Mount Prospect city police auction last spring. It's an old Mount Prospect police car. They were practically giving 'em away.
- 'Joliet' Jake Blues: Well thank you, pal. The day I get outta prison, my own brother picks me up in a police car!”
John Belushi - Joliet' Jake Blues
Dan Aykroyd - Elwood Blues

“- Jack Traven: Stop! L.A.P.D! Get out of the car!
- Jaguar Owner: Hey man, this is my car, I own this car, it's not stolen.
- Jack Traven: [pulls gun out and points it at him] It is now. Move over.”
Keanu Reeves - Jack Traven
Glenn Plummer - Jaguar Owner

“- Isobel von Schmidt: When did you join the police force?
- Miles Kendig: It's the only car I could find that had any gas in it.”
Glenda May Jackson - Isobel von Schmidt
Walter Matthau - Miles Kendig

“- Martin Riggs: What I wouldn't give for a siren right now!
- Roger Murtaugh: Aawwwww!”

Mel Gibson - Martin Riggs
Danny Glover - Roger Murtaugh