“The princess shall indeed grow in grace and beauty, beloved by all who know her. But... before the sun sets on her 16th birthday, she shall prick her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel and die!”
Eleanor Audley - Maleficent

“- Phil Deedle: Why can't we have a birthday off like everyone else?
- Elton Deedle: Who's everyone else?
- Stew Deedle: Washington, Lincoln... the baby JesusDad!”
Paul William Walker IV - Phil Deedle
Eric Braeden - Elton Deedle
Steve Van Wormer - Stew Deedle

“- Marco: Your birthday is soon, right? Like next week?
- Jimmie Shannon: No, it's not next week.
- Marco: Thank God.
- Jimmie Shannon: It's tomorrow!”
Artie Lange - Marco
Chris O'Donnell - Jimmie Shannon

“For dinner on my birthday, shall I tell you what I chose?
Hot noodles made from poodles on a slice of garden hose
And a rather smelly jelly made from armadillo's toes
The jelly is delicious, but you have to hold your nose!”
Simon Callow - Grasshopper

“- Birthday Woman: Oh, Ronnie Dobbs. You are brilliant. You have to do me a favor.
- Ronnie Dobbs: At your service.
- Birthday Woman: Tell me to fuck off.
- Ronnie Dobbs: Huh?
- Birthday Woman's Friend: Come on, it's her birthday.
- Ronnie Dobbs: Alright. Fuck you, bitch.”
Laura Kightlinger - Birthday Woman
David Cross - Ronnie Dobbs
Jeff Garlin - Birthday Woman's friend