“See, now if a plane crashed, we could eat for days.”

Sherri Shepherd - Ida

- Spawn: Just get me to a hospital.
- Clown: A hospital? Have you looked in a mirror lately, burnt man walking? Even the entire cast of "E.R." couldn't put you back together again.
Michael Jai White - Spawn
John Leguizamo - Clown

“Well, I, uh, don't think it's quite fair to condemn a whole program because of a single slip-up, sir.”
George C. Scott - Gen. 'Buck' Turgidson

“- Ellen Griswold: I think I broke my nose.
- Rusty Griswold: I stabbed my brain.
- Audrey Griswold: I just got my period.”

Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold
Dana Barron - Audrey Griswold

“- Dr. Keats: Tom lost part of his brain in a hunting accident. His memory only lasts ten seconds.
- Ten Second Tom: I was in an accident? That's terrible.
- Dr. Keats: Don't worry, you're totally gonna get over it in about three seconds.”
Dan Aykroyd - Dr. Keats
Allen Covert - Ten Second Tom