“- Charlie Johnson: I have someone for you.
- Bob Rueland: No, Charlie, no.
- Charlie Johnson: Come on, she's smart, she has a great body, intelligent, great body... you gotta start going out! She's really great, her cat was a patient of mine!
- Bob Rueland: I'm a dog person.”
David Alan Grier - Charlie Johnson
David Duchovny - Bob Rueland

“We came here to meetgirls and dance, and we can't meetgirls until we dance!”
Steve Zahn - Lenny Haise

“- Dan: Imagine finding you here.
- Bijou: I'm the type of girl you're liable to find anywhere.”
John Wayne - Dan
Marlene Dietrich - Bijou

“- Stymie: You're not thinkin' about Darla, are ya?
- Alfalfa: No, of course not.
- Spanky: Good.
- Stymie: I wonder if she's not thinking of me, too?”
Kevin Jamal Woods - Stymie
Bug Hall - Alfalfa

“- Jake: I do independent study with her. I catch her lookin' at me a lot. It's kinda cool, the way she's always lookin' at me.
- Jock: Maybe she's retarded.
- Jake: I'm being serious, okay? She looks at me like she's in love with me.”
Michael Schoeffling - Jake
Steve Monarque - Jock