“- Professor Johnston: Died 1382.
- Kate Ericson: Born 1971.”

Billy Connolly - Professor Johnston
Frances O'Connor - Kate Ericson

“It's so sad. Her mom and dad found her hanging from a tree limb, her insides on the outside.”
Rose McGowan - Tatum Riley

“- Mary Katherine Gallagher: I thought you said that mom and dad were savagely ripped apart and eaten by a school of hammerhead sharks.
- Grandma: I just told you that to make you feel better.”
Molly Shannon - Mary Katherine Gallagher
Glynis Johns - Grandma

“- Mary Katherine Gallagher: So what really happened to your parents?
- Slater: They were savagely ripped apart and eaten by a school of hammerhead sharks.
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: That happens a lot.”
Molly Shannon - Mary Katherine Gallagher
Harland Williams - Slater

“A parent should never have a child precede them in death. It is the most painful experience imaginable.”
James Garner - Red Stevens