“Miss? If you were yogurt, would you be fruit at the bottom or stirred?”
Stephen Baldwin - Doyle Johnson

- Danny Wallace: I like peaches.
- Nick Chen: Peaches is shit. Haven't you ever heard the song Sinatra sang? "Out of the tree of life I just picked me a plum". Not a peach, a plum.
- Danny Wallace: I don't care if he pulled a raisin out of Sammy Davis's eye-socket, I prefer peaches.
Mark Wahlberg - Danny Wallace
Chow Yun-Fat - Nick Chen

“[as Gammy Num-Nums] We don't want to go anywhere with you, Melon Head!”
Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey

“Why don't I take you to California? You can have fresh squeezed orange juice every day. If you've got a back yard there, you've got fresh fruit.”
Vincent Gallo - Russell Pataki

“Raspberry world. For all your raspberry needs.”
Michael J. Nelson - Mike Nelson