“- Skip Skipperton: Do you know how I spend my every single solitary moment?
- Dr. Mumford: Jerking off?
- Skip Skipperton: No, that's a good guess though!”
Jason Lee - Skip Skipperton
Loren Dean - Mumford

“I would like to make an announcement. There is a gorgeous woman masturbating on my bed.”
Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein

“In another million years, there'll be no men, no women. There'll just be people. Just a whole world full of wankers.”
Alan Love - Eric

“You see an attractive woman, living on her own, you wonder: is she a roaring lesbian? Answer, no! For your information, I've been married and divorced three times. Once to an actor, once to an English lord and once to a Californian.”
Rut Bernardi - Evie

“Don't forget who we are, and who you'll be if I'm gone. You could have a hundred women down here, but without me, you'd still be alone.”

Tony Goldwyn - Dr. William "Will" Rudolph