“Did you know that eating alone could cause kidney damage?”
Sean Penn - Paul Rivers

“- Shelly DeVoto: You know, Vada, you have to watch what you eat at the carnival. I remember one summer I went with my two older cousins, and they both ate hot dogs, and the next day they had nephritis.
- Vada Sultenfuss: Nephritis is a kidney disease, you don't get it from eating hot dogs.”
Jamie Lee Curtis - Shelly DeVoto
Anna Chlumsky - Vada Sultenfuss

“- Jorge: I wouldn't be touchin' that if you saw the leper who was drooling all over that shit. Hey, Roy, you old fuck!
- Roy: What?
- Jorge: Get the boy a sandwich or something before he gets hepatitis!”

John Leguizamo - Jorge
Richard Bright - Roy

“Hey Barney, don't eat that crap! This guy's sellinginstant hepatitis!”
Eric Roberts - Paulie

“I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.”
Steven Alexander Wright