“- Harold Lee: In less than eight hours we're gonna be in Amsterdam. This is nuts. This is nuts!
- Kumar Patel: I know, dude. It's gonna be exactly like Eurotrip only it's not going to suck. It's going to be awesome.”
John Cho - Harold Lee
Kal Penn - Kumar Patel

“- Nick Spitz: We travel. I took you to the Poconos that time.
- Audrey Spitz: That was... That was for a funeral, Nick.
- Nick Spitz: How about, uh, when we went to Virginia when my uncle was in a hospice and we got to see him die? We did that.”
Adam Sandler - Nick Spitz
Jennifer Aniston - Audrey Spitz

“- Ace Hunter: There are reasons for everything we do, Major.
- Zara: Do they include leaving your guests to bake in the middle of the desert, greeted by a cowboy, and be attacked by wild creatures?
- Ace Hunter: If it's a comfortable tour you're looking for, I have connections... at DisneyLand!”
Barry Bostwick - Ace Hunter
Persis Khambatta - Zara

“Dryland is not just our destination, it is our destiny!”
Dennis Hopper - Deacon

“- Sheev: Have you ever been to China?
- Bo Duke: I ate Chinese food once!”
Kevin Heffernan - Sheev
Seann William Scott - Bo Duke