“- Joey LaMotta: She ain't the kind of girl you just fuck and forget about, this girl.
- Jake La Motta: Joey, how many times I gotta tell ya? Why're you always cursin' when I'm talkin' to you? Don't do it around me. Do it around your friends.”

Joe Pesci - Joey
Robert De Niro - Jake La Motta

“- Danny: Well you know, these girls are only good for one thing.
- Sonny: Yeah, what are you suppose to do with them the rest of the 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day?”
John Travolta - Danny
Michael Tucci - Sonny

“- Tania: I'm a gender-challenged male.
- Jesse Montgomery III: What does that mean?
[Tania reveals her penis]
- Jesse Montgomery III: Whoa! Dude, you're a dude!”
Teressa Tunney - Tania
Ashton Kutcher - Jesse Montgomery III

“Let me give you a little advice about women like her. The fuckin' you get, ain't worth the fuckin' you get, okay?”
Arye Gross - Max

- Scotty Brennen: See that girl over there in the red? Say "hi" to her and she's yours. She'll have her legs around you so tight you'll be begging for mercy.
- Josh: Well, I'll stay away from her, then.

Jon Lovitz - Scotty Brennen
Tom Hanks - Josh