“- Young Groom: Where did these three spring from?
- Young Bride: Out of my belly.
- Young Groom: Your children. But not my children. Whore! Adulteress! You hoped I'd never come back!”
Stephen Rea - Young Groom
Kathryn Pogson - Young Bride

“I have good looking kids; thank god my wife cheats on me.”
Rodney Dangerfield

“- Mike: Why'd they get rid of the fighting? It was the best part of the old version.
- Sue: I think kids were hittin' each other or somethin', man.”

Jon Favreau - Mike
Patrick Van Horn - Sue

“- Hank: What are you staring at, fucker? You wanna start me up? Just open the choke and pull the cord, pal. I'm due for a seismic event and you're dancing on the fault line.
- Kid's Father: Hey, what is your problem, pal?
- Hank Evans: I got no beef with you. This is between me and the kid.”

Jim Carrey - Hank
Sean Gildea - Kid's Father

“Parents and kids always fight. It's the way of the world.”
Jennifer Lynn Connelly - Natalie Becker