“- Mooj: It's okay not to have sex. Not eveybody's a pussy magnet. You, uh, what are you, 25?
- Andy: I'm 40.
- Mooj: Holy shit, man, you got to get on that!”
Gerry Bednob - Mooj
Steve Carrell - Andy

“- Cinder: Ever been to fourth base?
- Ferris: I'm fifteen. No one goes to fourth base...
- Cinder: I hit a home run at fourteen. Well I guess some of us are women, and some of us are little girls.”
Krista Errickson - Cinder
Tatum O'Neal - Ferris

“I drive my first car at nine. I overhaul my first transmission at ten. At thirteen I turn the quarter mile in under 12 seconds... and I wait until now to get laid?”
Mark Hamill - Kenneth W. Dantley Jr.

“Go to bed. You have a geography test in the morning.”

Cher - Cher

“- Daniel Challis: Aren't you just the least bit tired?
- Ellie Grimbridge: No.
- Daniel Challis: Wait - Wait a minute. How old are you?
- Ellie Grimbridge: Relax. I'm older than I look.”

Tom Atkins - Daniel Challis
Stacey Nelkin - Ellie Grimbridge