“- Franklin Hatchett: James had a lot of women. Actually, he had all the women.
- James Russell: All the women, all the guys, I fucked them all!”
Chris Tucker - Franklin Hatchett
Charlie Sheen - James Russell

“Later on tonight, we're going to fall madly in bed.”
Darren Boyd - Cooper

“- Lily: Do you drink coffee?
- Jim: No, not really.
- Lily: Because I thought maybe we could go back to my apartment for some coffee or something.
- Jim: I would love some coffee.”
Karin Anger - Lily
Robert May - Jim

“- Ryan Harrison: Put your hand in my pocket.
- Cass Lake: All right... What am I looking for?
- Ryan Harrison: Nothing. I just missed you, baby. We're going to party like it's 1995.”
Leslie William Nielsen - Ryan Harrison
Melinda McGraw - Cass Lake

“- Pokey Jones: I never left home, but I know every inch of this highway. I know it inside out. Ask me a question if you like: ask me anything.
- Jackie Bangs: Do you wanna have sex with me?
- Pokey Jones: What?
- Jackie Bangs: Do you wanna have sex?
- Pokey Jones: No, I'm fine, thank you.”
Don McKellar - Pokey Jones
Valerie Buhagiar - Jackie Bangs