“- Kay: Does that come standard?
- Jay: Actually it came with a black dude, but he kept getting pulled over.”

Tommy Lee Jones - Kay
Will Smith - Jay

“- Stuntman Mike: I wanted it to be impressive and... scary tends to impress.
- Pam: Is it safe?
- Stuntman Mike: No, it's better than safe. It's death-proof.
- Pam: How do you make a car death-proof?
- Stuntman Mike: Well, that's what stuntmen do.”

Kurt Russell - Stuntman Mike
Rose McGowan - Pam

“Fasten your seat belts. This is going to be a bumpy ride.”
Jesse Eisenberg - Columbus

“Please, don't be scared. Cars are totally safe now. They even have airbags, crumple zones. Maybe not this one, but most!”

Eugene Hutz - Alex

“- Mitch: Sorry, your seatbelt seems to be broken. What do you recommend I do?
- Taxi Driver: I recommend you stop being such a faggot. You're in the backseat.”
Luke Wilson - Mitch
Stuart Cornfeld - Taxi Driver