“- Greg Heffley: Without devices, there's absolutely nothing to do.
- Susan Heffley: Look at the scenery. Read a book.
- Greg Heffley: Read a book? It's summer vacation!”
Jason Drucker - Greg Heffley
Alicia Silverstone - Susan Heffley

“- J. Worthington Foulfellow: There is only one cure! A vacation! On Pleasure Island!
- Pinocchio: Pleasure Island?
- J. Worthington Foulfellow: Yes! That happy land of carefree boys where everyday's a holiday!”

Walter Catlett - J. Worthington Foulfellow
Dickie Jones - Pinocchio

“Boys, the honeymoon's over. From now on you're marines.”
William Bendix - Pvt. Aloysius K. "Smacksie" Randall

“- Diane: I am going on vacation this weekend. Remember?
- Wayne: Of course I remem... I forgot.
- Diane: I am going on this vacation and nothing and nobody is going to stop me!
- Wayne: Boy, she does need a vacation.”
Eve Gordon - Diane
Rick Moranis - Wayne

“- Mr. Wheat: What's your hurry, my brother?
- Dexter Reed: My hurry is it's now officially summer vacation and yet I'm still looking at you.
- Mr. Wheat: You're an amazing student. I mean, you sit there and get your test done first, and you were concentrating so hard I thought you were sleep.
- Dexter Reed: Next time make it more challenging.”
Sinbad - Mr. Wheat
Kenan Thompson - Dexter Reed