“Alan Harper-I appreciate the pep talk, but I have lost all hope.
Walden Schmidt-Well, I can't give you hope, but I can give you my American Express black card.
Alan Harper-Hope is for losers.
”
Ashton Kutcher - Walden Schmidt
Jon Cryer - Alan Harper

“Few people on this planet knows what it is to be truly despised. Can you blame them? I earn a living fronting an organization that kills 1200 people a day. The face of cigarettes, the Colonel Sanders of nicotine.”
Aaron Eckhart - Nick Naylor

“How many of you, right now, work two jobs just to have enough money to be broke? That ain't right.”
Chris Rock - Mays Gilliam

“Now what you boys want to do is you want to graduate from high school, get decent jobs. Take a shot at white-collar crime, that's where the real money is!”

James Woods - John Moss

“- Danny: I-I-I also got a job that pays money.
- Carla: Really?
- Danny: I bake cookies at Emil's Bakery.I got a cookie maker's hat and everything.”
Giovanni Ribisi - Danny
Juliette Lewis - Carla