“- Annie: I thought you hated your job.
- Miss Hannigan: No, I love my job; it's kids I hate.”
Alicia Morton - Annie Bennett
Kathy Bates - Miss Agatha Hannigan

“- Bianca: Hi Jessica, you look great. Are you doing anything different or just hanging out with skankier friends?
- Jessica Spencer: You look good, too, Bianca. Are you eating less or just barfing more?
- Monique: Barfing more.”
Maria-Elena Laas - Bianca
Rob Schneider - Jessica
Ashlee Simpson - Monique

“- John Moss: She hates me.
- Nick Lang: Buy her a pony.
- John Moss: I mean Susan.
- Nick Lang: Buy her a horse.”
James Woods - John Moss
Michael J. Fox - Nick Lang

“- Jeanne: Why do you hate women?
- Paul: Because either they always pretend to know who I am, or they pretend I don't know who they are, and that's very boring.”
Maria Schneider - Jeanne
Marlon Brando - Paul

“- Professor Von Rotten: If there's one thing I hate, it's sentimental women.
- Cleopatra: Personally, I don't care very much for you either.
- Professor Von Rotten: I hate unsentimental women too, and small children and dogs and flowers and sometimes I even hate myself!”
Larry D. Mann - Professor Von Rotten