“My father used to say that not playing to win is like sleeping with your sister. Sure she's a great piece of tail, with a blouse full of goodies, but... it's just illegal. Then you get into that whole inbred thing. Kids with no teeth who do nothing but play the banjo... eat apple sauce through a straw... pork farm animals.”
Charlie Sheen - Lt. Topper Harley

“My love, tonight we will celebrate this ecstatic joining of our spirits with the union of our aching bodies.”

Gene Hackman - William B. Tensy

“- Beavis: It's, like, this chick's a slut. And look at this guy. He's old, but he's probably scored a million times!
- Old Guy: Oh, yeah.
- Beavis: But not us. We're never gonna score!”
Mike Judge - Beavis
Kristofor Brown - Old Guy

“- Eddie Sparks: Look at this. I'm 91-years-old. 50 years I've been waiting for this chance. Dixie, please let's go upstairs.
- Dixie Leonard: What, to your room?
- Eddie Sparks: Yeah.
- Dixie Leonard: And then we get undressed?
- Eddie Sparks: Yeah.
- Dixie Leonard: And then we get into bed?
- Eddie Sparks: Yeah.
- Dixie Leonard: And then what?”
James Caan - Eddie Sparks
Bette Midler - Dixie Leonard

“Now you're talking my language. Old enough to know how it's done and young enough to still want to do it.”

Bill Macy - Doo-Dah