“- Tracy Richards: How old are you?
- God: Who knows? After the first two million years, I stopped counting.”
Louanne - Tracy Richards
George Burns - God

“- Clark Griswold: Could I do your back, honey?
- Ellen Griswold: I've already done my back.
- Clark Griswold: Could I do your front?
- Ellen Griswold: Go do your own front.”
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold

“- Rick: Hey when are you going to stop calling me Barny?
- Turtle: When you're not a Barny anymore, Barny.”
Matt Adler - Rick
John Philbin - Turtle

“- Turtle: Stay loose, Haole.
- Rick: What's a Haole?
- Turtle: A tourist, a mainlander, like you.
- Rick: I'm not a tourist.
- Turtle: Whatever, Barney.
- Rick: What's a Barney?
- Turtle: It's like Barno... Barnyard... a haole to the max, a kook in and out of the water. Yeah?”
John Philbin - Turtle
Matt Adler - Rick

“- Mission Commander Swanbeck: Mr. Hunt, the next time you go on holiday, please be good enough to let us know where you're going. This message will self-destruct in five seconds.
- Ethan Hunt: If I let you know where I'm going, then I won't be on holiday.”
Philip Anthony Hopkins - Mission Commander Swanbeck
Tom Cruise - Ethan Hunt