“- Marcy Tizard: Is being an idiot like being high all the time?
- Sean Kelly: No, it's like being constantly right.”
Janeane Garofalo - Marcy Tizard
David O'Hara - Sean Kelly

“You know what your problem is? Your problem is you're so full of piping hot crap the mention of your name draws flies.”

Jeffrey Wright - Belize

“- Chester Lee: My name is Chester, I'm great, I'm wonderful! Everybody likes me!
- Redneck: Hey, Chester. My name's Harland, and to me you look like a giant asshole.”
Rodney Dangerfield - Chester Lee
Michael K. Osborn - Redneck

“In the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend.”
Eli Wallach - Arthur Abbott

“- Phone Voice: Do you like scary movies?
- Sidney Prescott: What's the point? They're all the same. Some stupid killer stalking some big-breasted girl who can't act who is always running up the stairs when she should be running out the front door. It's insulting.”
Neve Campbell - Sidney Prescott
Roger Jackson - Phone Voice