“What kind of moron would put military technology in toys?”

Kevin Dunn - Stuart Abernathy

“- Irwin Wayfair: These microprocessing chips. What do they do and where did you get them from?
- Larry Benson: They microprocess. And they come from the land of l Saved Your Job.
- Irwin Wayfair: They were designed for the Defense Department. You put munitions chips in toys?”

David Cross - Irwin Wayfair
Jay Mohr - Larry Benson

“- Peter Brady: Dad, I think I hit him in the head with these. I'm sorry, Mr. Phillips.
- Mike Brady: Peter, drumsticks are not toys.
- Peter Brady: Oh, they're not drumsticks, Dad. They're weapons.
- Mike Brady: Well, weapons are not toys either, Peter.”
Paul Sutera - Peter Brady
Gary Cole - Mike Brady

- "Tootie" Smith: And I'm taking all my dolls, even the dead ones. I'm taking everything.
- Esther Smith: Of course you are. I'll help you pack them myself. You won't have to leave anything behind.

Margaret O'Brien - "Tootie" Smith
Judy Garland - Esther Smith

“Which doll shall we give Daisy's little friend Emily? The one that looks like a transvestite or the one that looks like a dominatrix?”

Emma Thompson - Karen